View Full Version : I want to write a fan-fic too!
1st August 2005, 12:19 AM
Ok, call me an idea stealer, but I'm going to do a fan-fic. DB was first, I'm second, whatever.
Chapter 1! *Dun dun DUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!*
Kazooie: We are SO lost.
Banjo: Not really. We're in a place where we have no idea where and we don't have a map.
Kazooie: In other words, we're lost.
BK, after Banjo-Tooie, decided not to settle down(Actually, it was Kazooie's idea) and instead, roam around the Rareworlds. Currently, they were in DK's world, lost in a random jungle.
Kazooie: HEY! It said...I thought... wait a minute... YOU JUST SAID WE WEREN'T LOST, BANJO!
Banjo: Oh, cruel Hijinks of Jungles, let us free!
At this point, Diddy comes by, running full speed ahead, being chased by a Krusha.
Diddy: Bear! Bird! HELP!!!!
Kazooie: Eat grenade egg, croc!
Kazooie shot a grenade egg down the Krusha's conveintly open mouth, and gave him a hemmorhage.
Diddy: Wait, hemmorhage?
Extreme internal bleeding.
Diddy:Oh. Monkey see, but monkey no do.
Kazooie: Ok, now, who are you? I'm Kazooie.
Banjo: And I'm Banjo.
Diddy: I'm Diddy! Donkey Kong is my uncle!
Banjo: Hmmm. May we meet him?
Diddy: He only meets strangers if they bring a golden banana.
BK(together): Let's do it!
Banjo and Kazooie look at each other for a few seconds and begin argueing.
Kazooie: Banjo, never say something at the same time as me, ever again.
Banjo: I guess it messes up your image to say something I would!
Kazooie: You could say that. My image is not your plaything!
Banjo: I know that! What made you think it was?!?
Kazooie: You sure are messing with it!
Banjo: Stop argueing before I mess you up!
Diddy: OOOOH! ZING!
Kazooie: Stay out of this, banana breath!
Diddy: Just stop argueing! If you want to meet DK, then let's get cracking on looking for that Golden Banana!
Kazooie: That's a great idea. Let's do it!
Banjo: I don't have a good feeling about this....
Kazooie: I don't have a good feeling about YOU!
BK(together again):Just shut up.
BK stare each other down menacingly. Kazooie begins plotting to leave Banjo.
Diddy: Aaaanyway, let's get a move on.
BK and Diddy begin looking for a Golden Banana so that Donkey Kong will have their presence. But, why would DK want a gift just to let them see him? He's a laid back guy!
I've never done a fan-fic before, so tell me how I did.
1st August 2005, 12:29 AM
cool! this has potential... please continue!
1st August 2005, 12:30 AM
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Someone likes it! I'll edit in Chapter 2 here in a little.
EDIT: Screw being lazy. I'll do it now.
Chapter 2! WOOHOO!
Banjo:So, Diddy, where do we find this Golden Banana?
Diddy: No clue.
Kazooie: Well, that's great. Why don't we look over at that shack that says "FREE GOLDEN BANANAS" over it?
Banjo: That's an idea...
And so Banjo, Kazooie, and Diddy went to the shack.
Kazooie: What's your problem?
Diddy: BIG BIRD! *passes out*
Banjo: AHHHH! BIG BIRD! *passes out*
Cloud: What's wrong with them? It's just a chocobo...
Kazooie: Don't look at me, hair freak.
5 hours later, Banjo and Diddy wake up in Anrgy Aztec.
Banjo: Where's Kazooie?
Cloud: I instructed her on proper manners using my buster sword. *shows Banjo and Diddy sword, which is covered in feathers and blood*
Banjo: WTF? OMFG SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND! *Throws grenade egg at Cloud, who laughs*
Cloud: How could some egg hurt me?
Banjo: Prepare to get schooled.
Cloud: *slices egg*
Banjo: THAT was dumb.
Cloud: *cough* *wheeze* That is one baaaaaaaaaaad egg...*dies*
Kazooie: Serves him right.
Banjo: OH THE AGONY! I MOURN KAZOOIE SO MUCH THAT HER VOICE RINGS IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!! *runs around like a maniac and gets caught in the quicksand*
Kazooie: I'm right here, button-head.
Banjo: Oh, hey there.
Diddy: To get out of that quicksand, uh, all you have to do is try to jump repeatedly.
Banjo: Ok. *gets out* Now, that temple that looks like it is a shrine to bananas looks like our destination.
Kazooie: Yeah. *jumps into Banjo's backpack* Now, poop slinger, is there a golden banana in there?
Diddy: There might be. Let's go.
1st August 2005, 02:11 AM
Well actually PaintGamma was the first to make a fan-fic but he never completed it. As for yours Zip I like it, BK's travel across the many Rare worlds has potential. I'll be reading regularly. ;)
1st August 2005, 02:55 AM
|Chapter 3: The first time in this fan-fic that BK are in a different world!|
Kazooie:Look! If that's not a golden banana then I don't know what is.
Diddy: *happy monkey sounds* DK will flip when he finds out he missed one!
Kazooie: Yeh, whatever, d00d. Let's just get the thing, ya hizzle?
Banjo: Yeah, I'll find the reason you're talking wierd later.
*Kazooie runs up to the banana, only to get stopped by a force field*
Kazooie: What the ****? Dat wadn't der before, yo!
Banjo: KAZOOIE! DON'T CUSS! YOU ARE A CHARACTER FROM A KIDS GAME!
Kazooie: Ya think uh give a ****, ya *****?
???: YoU nEeD a PiEcE oF a LiViNg **** To GaIn AcCeSs To ThIs PlAcE. sAy ThE cOdEwOrD tO bE tElEpOrTeD tO tHe PlAcE wHeRe YoU cAn GeT wHaT yOu NeEd.
Banjo: Let's just say random things! Maybe we'll find the codeword!
Diddy: Ok! Squirell!
???:CoRrEcT. yOu ThReE wIlL bE tElEpOrTeD tO tHe PlAcE wHeRe YoU cAn GeT wHaT yOu NeEd nOw. AlSo, TaKe ThIs.
*dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-DUM! You got a weird green stone!*
Kazooie: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Kazooie falls to the floor and begins twitching uncontrollably, writhing about until a VERY loud fart is heard and a large, translucent turd is seen rising up from her still body.*
*Banjo slaps Kazooie*
Kazooie: Right then, let's go.
???: Be CaReFuL. yOu Do NoT wAnT tO aLl EnD uP lIkE hEr.
Banjo: Let's go.
*Banjo, Kazooie, and Diddy are transported to a strange place where the ground is covered in blood, dead squirells, and what appear to be large teddy bears.*
Kazooie: Where the heck are we?
???: ARE YOU ALigned witH THE TEDIZ?!?!?
Banjo: What are Tediz? I'm from the Banjo-Kazooie world, as is Kazooie here.
Diddy: I'm from the Kong world. I'm Diddy.
???: I'm Conker. You be careful, now. The Tediz'll kill ya at the least provocation. *points to large mountain* And don't go near there. A huge, living piece of **** live there. HE'LL make you're lives ****. His singing just makes me want to kill the *******, but I'll need help.
Banjo: Conker, We were sent here to get a piece of a huge living turd. We're going with you.
Conker: Well, what kind of ****-brained ******* would send good guys on such a suicide mission? Well, *** or no ***, this guy sounds serious. Let's go.
Kazooie: I'm itchin' for a fight!
I don't know much about the Conker world, so expect BK's stay there to be very brief.
1st August 2005, 04:42 AM
Forget double-posting! I want to introduce the baddie!
|Chapter 4: The revelation|
Conker: Well, you're about to get one. Here's some chocolate if you're energy gets low.
BK(together):Wait, we use honeycombs!
Conker: Not here. It's chocolate here. Anyway, lets go the the mountain.
???: I am the Great Mighty Poo and I'm gonna throw my **** at you! *insert TGMP's theme song here*
Kazooie: The Great Mighty POO?!?!? WHO COMES UP WITH THIS?!?
Conker: Perverts. Now, SHUT THE **** UP BEFORE I **** YOU UP!
Banjo: Right. Let's do this.
Conker: By the way, watch out for his singing.
TGMP: 4 vs 1? That's not fair. Three will leave, I don't care.
Conker: Yo, poo! Eat this! *throws grenade eggs at him*
Kazooie: Freeze! *shoots ice eggs* Melt! *shoots fire eggs* Freeze! Melt! Freeze! KABOOM!
Diddy: I can't help....
Conker: Oh, yes you can! Have some TOILET PAPER!
Diddy: I'M ON A ROLL, I'M ON A MEGA ROLL! CHARMIN' MEGA ROLL!
Banjo: Finish him!
Kazooie: You mean FLUSH him, don't you?
Diddy: Nah, we need a piece of him, remember? I'll just wrap it up in about 457 layers of TP...
Kazooie: Wimp. I'd be able to hold it with only 23 layers of TP!
Banjo: Then do it.
???: YES! It's great to be free! After 689746503 years of imprisonment, I, the very reincarnation of evil, am finally able to move again! But.... My power is at a fraction... An eruption of a volcano might be able to overpower me! I guess that getting servants to do my bidding is all that I can muster for now. I will get one person on each world to get as many others as possible to be under me! The bigger my network,the stronger I am! I'll start with that foolish creature...
I'm still thinking up a name.
2nd August 2005, 12:54 AM
Man someones hyper today... Great fan-fic though. Yay hyper.
2nd August 2005, 10:01 PM
lol this is good. I just got the PM.
9th August 2005, 12:02 AM
Crud, I'm addicted to Gaia Online. It just went haywire,so I was able to come back here and produce another chapter! yay!
|Chapter 5: WTF moments|
TGMP:WOAH! LIKE, U TOTALLY GOT A PIECE OF ME, d00d!
TGMP: I can't be seperanted from my other parts ynless I take them off myself, d00d! So I totally-
The Great Mighty Poo blows up. Strangly, (and luckily) none of it gets on our heroes. Wierd, huh?
Kazooie: Let's leave now. I'm sick of this dumpster.
Conker: I couldn't agree enough.
Kazooie: I meant your world, not this mountain...
Conker: WHAT?!?!? **** you, *****! I'm gonna **** you, you ******* ****** *******!
Banjo: Let's leave before he does it...
Diddy: Yeah. Good idea. That's scaary.
Conker: And then I'm gonna **** your *** cuz you deserve it, you filthy, ***** *******! Mother ******!
Conker: *******! Actually, I wanna leave too. **** this place.
???:OoOoOoKaY....aNyWaY, i'Ll BrInG yOu BaCk. ThIs BaNaNa Is StArTiNg To ScArE mE.
Banjo: What's that mean?
When they get back, the banana has arms and legs and is dancing while singing Polkamon.
Banana: Hold on a minute, there's at least 127 more! Including Ledyba and Omastar, Geodude and Arcanine, Jigglypuff and Mr. Mime, don't forget about Sandslash, Exeggcute and Rapidash! Kangaskhan and Porygon, EVERYBODY POLKAMON!
???: HeLp Me!!!!!!!!!
Kazooie throws the turd at the banana and it goes silent.
???: ThAnK yOu So MuCh! Go AhEaD aNd TaKe ThE sTuPiD tHiNg!
Banjo: Alright. We can go meet DK now.
They all leave to go to DK's house, and when they get there, he's also singing Polkamon!
DK: ...Chansey and Zubat! Nidoking and Butterfree, Lugia and Caterpie, Oddish Poliwag Goldeen, Victreebel and Magneton, EVERYBODY POLKAMON! *whoops*
Kazooie: IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Banjo: *runs into wall screaming*
DK: *screams like a little girl* What are you doing? Hey! A golden Banana! You must seek me! What do you want?
Kazooie: I'm not so sure anymore...
Sorry. I had to get it out of my system.
9th August 2005, 04:21 AM
Heh. ;) DK singing the Poke Rap. Nice.
10th August 2005, 04:38 AM
Not poke rap! NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I hate the poke rap! Such a waste where they once had such a good song... No, no, no, Polkamon is and actual SONG by Weird Al Yankovich.
10th August 2005, 05:33 PM
that was pretty good. and I don't like the poke rap either. I don't like pokemon!
and Weird Al is pretty good. his song 'Albeqerque(sp?)' was pretty good.
12th August 2005, 10:10 PM
Not only do I have a membership at Gaia Online, I'm also addicted to Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga beyond belief. Don't expect Chapter 7 for a while.
|Chapter 6: The end of Kazooie... OR IS IT?!?|
Banjo: We're just inter-rareworld explorers. Could you direct us to a tourist attraction?
Kazooie: That includes food stands. I'm starved!
DK: Well, there's the DK Island Resort on the opposite side of the Island, and there's the Jungle Japes Jamboree, an amusement park.
Banjo: WHAT! There's an amusement park in the same forest we got lost in?!?
Kazooie: AAAARRGGHH! *pulls out 10 inch dagger*
All (inclluding Banjo): AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *runs away*
Kazooie: (now on the floor) *eyebrow twitches* GRAH!!!!!! *stabs self* *dies*
Banjo: *looks in* Oh, great. Kazooie just killed herself.
Conker: *****! How are you going to use your ****** eggs and stuff without her? How are you going to do most of your ******' attacks? How are you gonna ******' JUMP very high without the *******?
Banjo: Good points.
DK: The Banana Fairy might be able to help. I'll take you out there. Where'd Kazooie get the dagger anyway?
Diddy: Did you plan this?
Banjo: No. I planned on using it if she made me mad. I didn't think she'd do what I wanted to herself! *devilish grin*
DK: ANYWAY, let's go see if we can get her back.
Banjo: Aww, man!
Conker: *****! How are you going to ******* fight without her? A ****load of your moves RELY on her! Are you really that ****** about her?
Later, at the Banana Fairy's cave...
Banjo: What? you can't bring her back by yourself? YAY!
B. Fairy: I can change her personality.
B. Fairy: I'll need the power of 15 Crystal Coconuts to bring her back, 20 to change her personality.
Banjo: Ok. Let's go find some! DK, where can we find them?
DK: *singing 'She Thinks my Tractor's Sexy'* She thinks my tractor's sexy, it really turns her on! She's always starin' at me, while I'm chuggin' along! She likes the way it's pullin' when we're tillin' up the land, she's even kinda crazy 'bout my farmer's tan! She's the only one who really understands what gets me. She thinks my tractor's sexy!
Diddy: *singing along* Ridin' back and forth 'till I run out of light, take it to the barn and put it up for the night. Climb up on the house sit and talk with the RADIO!!!
Conker: WOOOOO! *shooting a gun at the floor* *shoots foot* AH! WEEEE!
Banjo: *singing along also*
B. Fairy: *under her breath* I'm surrounded by idiots...
Will they live through Conker's gun antics? Will the banana fairy go mad listening to the horrible singing? Find out next time on DRAGON BA- err.. my, uh, fan-fic.... YEAH!
12th August 2005, 10:55 PM
Okay....? Dude, i'm liking the WTFness of this fic!
14th August 2005, 04:32 PM
I got kinda lost on that chapter...maybe because I've never played DK before...
21st August 2005, 02:46 AM
I'M BACK!!!! ZOMG, I'M POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Chapter 7: Oh noes!|
DK: Oh, Crystal Coconuts? Cranky never told us where he got them before he died. So, no idea.
DK: I'M ALL JACKED UP! ALL JACKED UP! I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE EVER DRUNK THIS MUCH! ONE THING I'VE LEARNED WHEN YOU GET TORE UP IS THAT TIME SURE FLIES WHEN YOU'RE ALL JACKED UP!
B. Fairy: You will have to leave the Rareworlds to get them.
B. Fairy: Don't mention any modern technology where I send you. The world of the Dragoons was destroyed before modern times. Mentioning technology like yours today would cause a paradox that could destroy you and that world.
B. Fairy: remember, nothing that appears more advanced than they are.
As they're teleporting, Diddy screams
Diddy: I STILL HAVE MY PEANUT PISTOLS ON ME!!!!!!!
DK: You meant to do that, didn't you?
B. Fairy: Yep. Only the SnS egg carriers have the rights to explore different worlds.
DK: SnS egg? Big mis-colored egg with a question mark?
B. Fairy: Yes.... How do you know? They're from BK's.....world............
DK: Because I gave it to Diddy. It was pink.
B. Fairy: That's a relief. It will activate, even if he doesn't know how, soon, and save them all.
DK: How could some weird egg save them all?
B. Fairy: The SnS eggs a- Krocodile Kore explodes many times as she explains
B. Fairy: Unless the holder- Krocodile Kore explodes more violently and a tsunami makes the Banana Fairy's cave cave in, burying them both
Diddy: These are my pistols... Diddy is showing the others his pistols
Conker: **** you! LOOK AT THIS BABY! Conker whips out a bazooka. BEAT THAT, *****!
Banjo: DID YOU HEAR WHAT THE FAIRY SAID?!?
Conker/Diddy: ...... OH CRUD!!!!!!
Time at the Legend of Dragoon's world rips into tiny threads, and replaces itself quickly, but leaves a single stitch out of place....
Diddy: BANJO! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!
???: Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!
???: Dart, how many times have I told you to not do that?
Dart: Sorry, Rose.
Rose: You should be.
???: OOOOOOOOHHH! MONKEY! I LOVE MONKEYS!!!
Dart: Shana! STOP!
Shana: CHIMPANZEE!!!!!! picks up Diddy and squeezes him extremely hard.
Diddy: Stop it! You're choking me!
Shana: *screams* IT TALKS!!!!!! Shana throws Diddy into the air and runs away
???: Kids.... Always acting before they think...
????: Haschel.... was Dart like that when you met him the first time?
Haschel: Yes, he was, actually, Lavitz. Why do you ask?
Lavitz: Now I have something to tease him about. *snickers*
Conker: Now THIS is a crowd. *notices all of his guns are gone* WHAT THE ****?!? WHAT THE ******* **** HAPPENED TO MY G- ehehehehe....
Diddy lands on Shana, who promptly turns into th White Silver Dragoon
Shana: GERREMOFFME!!!!! *shoots Diddy with bow*
Rose: Shana, don't abuse the animals.
Dart: ....SHE CAN'T DO IT AS GOOD NOW THAT HER BUTT CHEEKS ARE GLUED TOGETHER!!! *laughs very loudly*
Shana: I still can't believe you did that! *shoots Dart*
Dart: OW! *turns into the Red-Eyes Dragoon* STOP IT! *sits down and cries*
Rose: Stop it, both of you. *sees Shana aiming bow* *turns into Darkness Dragoon* Don't even think about it.
Lavitz: HEY! I WANNA JOIN THE PARTY TOOOO! *Turns into Jade Dragoon*
Haschel/Diddy/Conker: Wish I could do that...
Diddy and Conker turn torwards Haschel and ask him about Crystal Coconuts.
Haschel: Crystal Coconuts? Yeah, there's crystal coconut trees at my house.
Diddy: WE NEED SOME!
Haschel: My home is the island of Rogue, many many miles away from here....
Wooooo! Long chapter!
27th August 2005, 05:02 PM
By the way, I butchered Dart's personality on purpose.
30th August 2005, 12:43 AM
*sniffle* *sniffle* No comments? XD
12th September 2005, 09:58 PM
Nice to see NO ONE CARES!!! :mad:
Anyway, I'm going to be gone for a LONG time... GRAH!
12th September 2005, 10:07 PM
Nice to see NO ONE CARES!!! :mad:
Anyway, I'm going to be gone for a LONG time... GRAH!
sorry, i havent gotten the chance to read them.... I wont for a while.... sorry, but i cant read it right now.... But, I fisnished a new chapter of my fic. wanna see it? :p
12th September 2005, 10:31 PM
Nice to see NO ONE CARES!!! :mad:
Anyway, I'm going to be gone for a LONG time... GRAH!
yeah, they do the same to my fanfic...
So, until at least ONE NEW MOTHER FU**ING COMMENT IS POSTED!!!
I will not continue my job...
*waits for 1 new comment*
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