View Full Version : The RWPF RPG
17th October 2003, 01:19 AM
Behold! I have done it! I have taken a simple, innocent RPG and twisted it and contorted it until it became...*Drumroll*... The RWPF RPG!!!
Alright, let's get this started merrily and gay.
* Don't Hate; Appreciate. (No flamming.)
* Sell your canned meat elsewhere (No SPAM)
* Da more, Da merrier (Join in when you feel like it.)
* And of course, Be yourself (use your Username as your character. You can use your old screen name as well.)
-----------------------------The Story Almost Begins--------------------------------
4 people need to join in before we start this total mayhem. FYI, the setting is present day, at the Rare Witch Forums (in real life!) Each person represents their own character (thus, the "Be Yourself" rule.) when four people join, the fourth starts the mayhem. I'll join after the start.
Everyone have fun tonight, Everyone "Wang Chung" tonight.
17th October 2003, 09:39 PM
I'll join this slice of cheese.
What? This is an RPG? I'm quittin' then.
What? I'm already singed up?...Fine.
19th October 2003, 12:10 AM
i'll join:D :D
19th October 2003, 12:56 AM
19th October 2003, 01:42 AM
19th October 2003, 02:17 AM
And since I'm already in, I guess I'll start it up.
The year is 3045. The people of 2003 that once filled the RWPF have envolved into strange creatures that now inhabit a place know as the Rare Witch Forum. This is their story...
John: Hope nobody had to go in there...
PotO: Oh great. Now I've gotta go.
John: Well, Choose another bathroom, bud, cause this one'll be out of commision for about 24 hours.
PotO: *sigh*, John, you know darn well that there aren't any other bathrooms in the RWF.
John: Fine, get yourself a few people and we'll start a quest for another bathroom.
two minutes later...
Bottles98: So, let me get this straight, you're gonna pull us from our daily activities and personal lives, just to find you a bathroom?
PotO: Why not?
BlueBreegull: It's not like we had anything else to do...
Bottles98: Yeah, you're right.
D.B: Hey guys, what's new?
BlueBreegull: We're going on a murderous quest to find a bathroom for PotO, here.
D.B: Got room for me?
PotO: Why the hell not? You never know when you'll need a satanic mole on your side.
John: Everyone ready to go?
PotO: I'm really ready to go...
John: Let's go then.
The group of idiots head out of the gigantic double doors and cross the bridge of broken glass. The quest begins...
21st October 2003, 08:03 PM
After barely setting foot out of the Rare Witch Project the team notices a sign. It reads:
Rest of World - Visit www.microsoft.com
"Hahaha," chucles DYNAMITE, "we got it right all along. Bill Gate is a cyborg".
After their hilarious and imaginary fiasco with the sign, our heroes ventured into a nearby forest. There they noticed a clan of goombas yelling amongst themselves.
"You say it Goomba!" yelled a few.
"Its Gooomba, long O" squalled back the others.
"Afflack," muttered a Duck.
Our heroes decided that the goomba's could handle their situation and so on they went. Nearby they saw a toilet.
Pot0: Woot! A bathroom!
John: Haha I knew we would find one!
Bottles98: Oh so this ends our quest huh!?
DYNAMITE: Yep I guess it does.
So Pot0 went to bathroom and lived happily ever after....
Until he realized it couldn't flush.
Pot0: Im stuck guys! The smell in here has locked the door.
DYNAMITE: We must head to Microsoft Corporation to get a door opener.
Bottles98: I thought they only made Windows!
DYNAMITE: That was back in the day when they were a monopoly remember? Now they own the world!
And so on the quest continued...
22nd October 2003, 09:33 PM
Bottles98: I'm bored. This is boring. This Microsoft world sucks.
DYNAMITE: You've been complaining for the past 2 hours, shut up!!!!!
PotO: I hope we find a bathroom soon.
Bottles98: ...john is weird.
John: I mean, no!
D.B: I WILL HINDER YER PROGRESS!!#!@#!2E12412
Bottles98:.....DB's lost it.
(No offense to DB, I just had to do something like that ;))
(OK, this sucked, but, I'll post stuff that's not complete nonsense next time, I promise.
23rd October 2003, 12:29 AM
D.B:I thought PoTo was stuck in a bathroom
John:yeah me too
Bottles98:wat do yu mean
D.B:last post you said he was looking for a bathroom
John:isn't this a rpg
D.B:yea when do we start fighting
(ok that was dumb but who cares)
23rd October 2003, 01:18 AM
Poto: Okay, It's obvious that there are some pretty weird gaps in the space time continum. And as normal, I'm certain Mircosoft & Bill Gates have something to do with it. Since I've already gone to the bathroom, and the Mircosoft tower of doom is just a few steps away, let's have a little talk with Mr. Gates himself....
John: WWYDI the world suddenly exploded?
Poto: Not care. WWYDI I didn't care?
Devil Bottles: Not care. WWYDI I didn't care?
Bottles98: Not care. WWYDI I didn't care?
BlueBreegull: Not care. WWYDI I didn't care?
DYNAMITE: Scream bloody murder. Shut up!
Bottles98: What are we waiting for?
John: Beats me.
Bottles98: Let's go then!
The group skips over to the tower in a wizard of Oz fashion.
23rd October 2003, 03:51 AM
The tower appears to be a random mess of dark geometric shapes. They approach it cautiously.
John: What, no door?
All of a sudden the building peels open and several ninjas bearing the Windows logo jump out. They then proceed to pull out pompoms and begin... Cheering.
Ninjas: M - I - C - R - O - S - O - F - T
We Rule the World with our authority!
Our products might not be that great,
But people by them any way so
MIC - RO - SOFT YEEAH! MIC - RO - SOFT YEEAH!
They end in a pyramid. Then the Large Microsoft sign on the front of the building falls off and squishes them.
BlueBreegull: What the... Cheerleading no Jutsu!?
PoTo: Well at least the building's open now... Lets go on in.
23rd October 2003, 09:40 PM
Time to add a meaning to this...meaningless...thing.
As our heroes (btw are they really heroes?) enter the tower, suddely, THE UNIVERSE IMPLODES! Fortunately for our heroes, the exact location they were in for some inexplicable reason was not affected by this rather unexpected event. Well, actually, it sort of was; for our not-so-heroic heroes were sent to the year 60,000 B.C.!!! *Dramatic Music*
Blue Breegull (B_B): Whoah...weren't we in a tower just a second ago?
or more like millions of years in the future!!!
John: Yeah! And now...we're in a jungle!
Dynamite: This is kinda freakin me out...let's find a way out of here...
DB: Good idea...
So the group wanders through the jungle without any idea of the epic adventure they were about to enter, one to return to their own time and save the world!!!
24th October 2003, 01:57 AM
BlueBreegull: Uhh...Does anyone else hear that weird noise?
They listen. It resembles the Mircosoft sound.
Poto: That noise!!!
Poto falls over and groans in pain.
BlueBreegull: Poto! What's wrong.
Poto: I'm about to reveal a secret that no one knows...
Bottles98: What is it?
Poto: This is the reason that I hate Bill Gates so much, and why I wear a mask...
He pulls off his mask, which reveals a mircosoft insignia on his face.
John: Dear god! How'd you get that?!?!
Poto: Many years ago...I was a secret agent for Nintendo. I was sent to Mircosoft under the alias "Steve Ballmer." I went to the tower that y'all saw a few minutes ago, and got a job as the Chief Executive Officer. However, in 2004, they discovered that I was a secret agent sending information to Nintendo, which sent it on to other smaller businesses trying to compete with Mircosoft. So they fired me, beat me, and imprisoned me. To make sure I didn't escape; they tatooed this symbol on my face. I created this makeshift mask in prison to keep myself sane. Thankfully, Nintendo got me out 3 years later, during the 'video game revolution.' Unfortantly, during this time, Gates used this window of opertunity to destroy everything that didn't involve the mircosoft technology. I stowed away in the rare witch forums during that time, and was quite thankful to find a place out of reach of Bill Gates himself.
BlueBreegull: That's horrible...
Poto: It gets worse. I am his stepbrother.
Bottles98: Bill Gates st-stepbrother?!?!
D.B: The satan of earth?!?!
Poto: That was so long ago...I don't remember much, only this damned tatoo and that title.
John: Wow, the plot thickens...
24th October 2003, 03:07 PM
O_O I was sure I deleted my previous post. >_< Bah... Anyway.
John: So... Do you think that us being sent to the past has something to do with your involvement with Microsoft?
PoTo: Who knows...
Bottles98: So where are we?
Suddenly a string of screeching noises is heard and a strange glowing person appears to them and begins an endless stream of babble.
GlowyMan: You are in 60,000 B.C.; Middle Palaeolithic period; Neanderthal primates possibly existed during this time; Estimated to be near the beginning of an Ice Age Cycle.
devil bottles: Well, how do we get back, and why are we here?
GlowyMan: *sigh* All will be revealed in time... Although your chances of survival are slim. Goodbye.
With that he disappears.
Blue Breegull: The way he said goodbye was suspiciously reminiscent of AOL shutting off...
John: Ah yes... the other evil.
24th October 2003, 10:30 PM
So the group wanders ...
...an- and w a n d e r s
B_B: Are we really going anywhere?
D.B: That a good question...
DYNAMITE (DM): Should we stop wandering now? It's almost night...
The group hears rustling in bushes nearby...
Poto: What's that?
John: Sssh! It might be early humans!
Somevoice: No, Darth Moneybags, we have not yet determined where we are yet...
B98: Were humans that intelligent back in this time?
Othervoice: I DON'T CARE!!! FIND ME SOME SORT OF EVIDENCE THAT THIS TIME MACHINE REALLY SENT US TO THE PAST!
Poto: Oh my god! That voice is the voice of Bill Gates!
B_B: Your step-brother-
Poto: DONT RUB IT IN! But yes. They must be behind those bushes. Keep quiet.
John: How did they get here?
B_B: It kind of makes sense. They got sent here because they warped back in time...only somehow, we got caught in the process. I think that tower was the machine...
B98: Well were did it go then?
Somevoice: Sir! It did work! We are in the Upper Paleolithic time period! Behold this artifact we've been looking for!
BillGates: ...This proves everything. Set it into the smaller machine now, so we can go back to the year 2003. We will storm the Nintendo HQ, and take over. That way, I will have won the video game revolution, and would have the world in my control even sooner!!!
The group hears them storm off
D.B.: Rule the world?! EVEN SOONER?! We have to stop this!
DM: Follow them! Don't let them get away!
The group moves quickly through the bushes...and accidentally sets off a floor trap and gets caught in a net! All except Blue Breegull who has a tendancy to fly, and Devil Bottles who hovers. Surrounding the group are now 14 suited lizard thingies. Microsoft cronies. They level their guns at our heroes...
???: Muahaha! I knew you would fall for our trap!
Poto: Bill Gates!!!
25th October 2003, 12:57 AM
::The group of Microsoft soldiers close in on DB and B_B::
B_B: This don't look pretty. We'd better make our move soon.
::As B_B and DB are ready to attack, they shrink extremely small, as well as the microsoft soldiers, they realize they are termites::
DM: What in the...??
B98: Hey, there's some weird guy that wears a mask like you Poto!
::A shamen walks over to the group of termites::
MB: You must be the ones behind all this. I was practicing my magic in the event that I might be blasted back about 60 million years.
Poto: Umm yeah, well its not us, its THEM...
::Poto points to Gates and a few of his 'upper servants' who all flee immediately::
::MB turns B_B and DB back to normal and crushes all the termites while B_B and DB free the others trapped::
B98: It appears to be that the entire RW Members have been scattered about also. Could it have something to do with the time machine in 2003?::
DM: Who knows, but right now it all too confusing and jumbled up to figure out, lets follow Gates and his worshippers before they go do more wrong doing again...
::The group stays a considerable distance behind Gates to figure out where he's heading::
25th October 2003, 04:13 PM
John: What the heck was it that Bill Gates found this far in the past that would help his technological empire in the future?
BlueBreegull: That's why we're following him isn't it? Now be quiet before he hears us!
They continue to follow. He walks for what seems like an eternity weaving in and out of bushes and trees. Occasionally frying wildlife with bright red lasers implanted in his fingertips, he leaves a large trail of destruction behind him. He possesses way more stamina then you would expect a super nerd to have.
Mumbo BT: Is he ever going to stop?
Bottles98: I hope so... I feel completely worn out.
John: Wow... I feel so... tired... that... bright green... X... on his back.
PoTo: NO! DON'T LOOK AT IT! It Contains dangerous hypnotic powers!
Eventually Bill Gates and his henchmen enter a large cave. It is illuminated by multiple blinking lights coming from further inside.
PoTo: Lets go...
Upon entering the cave, they are greeted by the sight of technology everywhere, from Super Computers to electronic armor and weaponry to foot massagers.
John: Wow... This stuff can't possibly belong to Gates as he just got here along with us.
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