View Full Version : Banjo-Fourie (my second fan-fic)

7th July 2006, 09:19 AM
hey i'm back. and for everyone that was here when i was here i'm here again. for all you new(er) people who haven't read my fan-fic (titled 'power to the fan-fics') go back a couple pages and read it. and now comes my second fan-fic, Banjo-Fourie. NOTE:you'll need to read my first one to understand this one

Chapter 1

???:Grublin, come here now!

Grublin:Yes master.

???:I have a mission for you, go down to Spiral Mountain, destroy it.

Grublin:Yes sir.

Then the Grublin went down to Spiral Mountain, and destroyed it.

Later, Banjo and Kazooie got back from a vacation.

Banjo:Yeah, that vacation was awesome. And did you when....holy ****! What the **** happened?

Kazooie:Our house, it's...it's gone. Destroyed. But how?

Then the Grublin came up to them.

Grublin:Hello, retards. How do you like what I've done with the place.

Banjo:I think its rude, unkind, and not very nice. I think you should apoligize.

Grublin:Stares blankly Ok, well, that was ****ing weird.

Kazooie:What the hell did you do?

Grublin:Look around, retard, the hell do you think I did?

Kazooie:I think you pi$$ed me off.

Grublin:Uh-huh, that's nice, tell someone who cares. Listen, I just came to give you two a message. Last year, you guys made the biggest mistake of your lifes, and now, it's time you had the favor returned.

Kazooie:What did we do last year?

Banjo:I don't know. I did do some pretty bad stuff. Like I got drunk, and I flipped off the president, and I watched Brokeback Mountain. All of which I regret deeply.

Grublin:Well if you can't remember, you're gonna die not knowing why you're dead.

Banjo:But I will know I'm dead. Because someone killed me.

Grublin:That's not what I meant. But sadly, I can't kill you yet. Farewell, retards.Vanishes

Banjo:Wow, what the **** just happened?

To Be Continued......................................... .............

7th July 2006, 09:48 AM
I bet my new nintenstationbox that the grublin represents rehashing noobs. And me. Mostly me.

8th July 2006, 09:29 AM
WARNING: DO NOT read this unless you've read my other fan-fic or it won't make sense. so go back and read my other fan-fic if you haven't already.
Chapter 2
Kazooie: Dude, this ****ing sucks.

Banjo:Hey, wait a minute. Where's Bottles?

Then they see Bottles and the ground.

Banjo:Bottles, wake up.

Bottles:Gets up Huh, what happened?

Banjo:Stares awkwardly at Bottles Uh, dude.


Banjo:You're a ghost...again.

Bottles:Son of a b*tch! How the hell many times must I die?!

Banjo:Just be glad you're still alive. Well, you know what I mean. There's just one thing I don't get.


Banjo:How do you end up being a ghost? Most people would just go to Hell.

Then Grunty flew in on her broomstick.

Grunty:Holy hell, what the ****ing **** happened?

Banjo:Some Grublin came and destroyed everything.

Grunty:That's impossible. They're not evil anymore. None of the ex-bad guys are.

Banjo:Well he came, he saw, and he blew the **** outta this place.

Grunty: Do you know where he went?

Banjo:No, he vanished. If I knew where he went, I would've chased him, and beat his @$$ to the ground.

Grunty:Ok, well, I'm gonna go and see what I can find out.Flies away

Banjo:Ok, I have no clue what she plans to find out, but whatever.

Meanwhile, in some unknown place.

???:So, have you completed your mission?

Grublin: Damn straight.

???:Excellent. Phase one is complete. Banjo and Kazooie will regret the day they ever ****ed wit' me. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!

To Be Continued......................................... .............................

9th July 2006, 03:51 AM
i just bumped my other fan-fic so you guys can read it

10th July 2006, 08:49 AM
Chapter 3
Banjo:So, what now?

Bottles:I don't know, but I think I know who's doing this.

Banjo:Who? WHO, GODDAMMIT???!!!???!!!

Bottles:Whoa, chill out.


Bottles:Anywho, like I was saying. I think the person doing this is....



Bottles:...the Minjonator.

Banjo: Dude, he's ****ing dead.

Bottles:Well, is there anyone else you pi$$ed off?

Banjo: Dude, I voted for Bush. I pi$$ed alot of people off.

Bottles:What the hell were you thinking?

Banjo:I don't know. I was drunk. I was about to vote for a ham sandwich, but they didn't let me.

Bottles:They should've. The sandwich would've done alot better.

Banjo:Yes it would have.

Kazooie:Could you guys shut the **** up?! We need to find out what to do.

Bottles:Oh, yeah. Well, if it's the Minjonator, he should be at his castle in the Evil Realm.

Banjo:But we don't know if it's the Minjonator.

Bottles:Who the hell else would it be?

Banjo:Good point.

Bottles:Ok, so you'll need to go through Minjo Town to get there.

Banjo:Ok, there's just one problem.


Banjo:The hole that leads there is being blocked by a boulder.

Bottles: Don't worry, I'll deal with that.Pulls out bazooka, and blows up boulder.

Banjo: Damn, where the hell did you get that?

Bottles:Let's just say I did some stuff I'm not proud of.

Banjo:Ok, well then. Bye.Jumps in hole to Minjo Town.

Meanwhile, in some place.



Grublin:I just found out that Banjo and Kazooie are in Minjo Town. Should I stop them?

???:No. If they're going where I think they are, they're doing precisely what I want.

To Be Continued................

14th July 2006, 08:07 AM
Chapter 4
Kazooie:Holy ****.

Banjo:Mother****er. Minjo Town, it's destroyed. But how?

Kazooie:Who cares? It saves us alot of trouble.

Banjo:Good point.

Then a Minjo crawled over to them.


Banjo: Dude, what happened?

Minjo:I...I don't know. I was in an alley mugging a little kid, next thing ya know, the whole place just blew up.

Banjo:So what, the place just blew up outta nowhere. That's weird.

Minjo:Hey, aren't you the bastard that was here before?


Minjo:Then I have to kill you. Gets up. Oh, my ****ing leg. You got lucky this time.

Banjo:Yeah, whatever. C'mon Kazooie, let's go. Goes to Evil Realm portal.

Minjo:I hate you.

A few minutes later.

Banjo:Well, we're in the castle. Now what?

Kazooie:I don't know. Hey look, it's a tape recorder.

Banjo:Picks up tape recorder, and plays it.

The door closes shut.

Tape recorder:Hello Banjo, you have been trapped here. If you want to escape, you must find the key. I'll give you a hint as to where it is. It's in your eye.

Banjo:Bulls**t. There ain't no key in my eye.

Tape Recorder:Yes there is.

Banjo:No there ain't.

Tape Recorder:Just shut up! If I say there's a key in your eye, then there's a key in your eye.

Banjo:Ok, whatever. There still isn't a key in my eye though.

Tape Recorder:You know what, I hate you.

Banjo:That's what they all say. Hey, wait!

Tape Recorder:Ha, retard.

Banjo:Ya know what, screw this. Throws tape recorder at the wall.

Kazooie:Wow, that was pointless. Now what?

Banjo:Let's keep going.

Kazooie:But the door closed.

Banjo:Yeah, the door behind us. We can still keep going.

Kazooie:Ok, sweet.

Then they go into the next room, and all the way to the top of the castle.

Banjo:Well, this sucks. No one's here.

Then Grublin appeared out of nowhere.

Grublin:Hello, stupid turds. Nice view up here, isn't it?

Banjo:Cut the crap. Where's the Minjonator?

Grublin:Minjonator? Ah yes, the Minjonator. Well, if you can't tell, he's not here.

Banjo:Well, no ****, sherlock. Where is he?

Grublin:I'm sorry, that's classified information, and I can't tell you.

Banjo:Well if you don't tell me, I'm gonna kick your @$$.

Grublin:I'd love to see you try. Oh, look at the time, I have to be going. So long. Vanishes.

Banjo:That stupid little turd. Why I oughta...

Kazooie:Uh, Banjo?



Banjo:Holy sh......


To Be Continued..........

15th July 2006, 10:25 AM
wow, no one's posting any comments :( oh well, next chapter

Chapter 5


???:Are Banjo and Kazooie dead?

Grublin:I believe so.

???:They better be. I've been awaiting their downfall for too long now.

Grublin:And master?


Grublin:What about Grunty?

???:What about her?

Grublin:Well, since she was with Banjo and Kazooie trying to help them, shouldn't we kill her too?

???:My plans are already complete. If you wish to kill her, be my guest.

Grublin:Kick @$$. Leaves.

Meanwhile, at Grunty's newly restored lair.

Grunty:I just don't get it. Why would a Grublin destroy Spiral Mountain?

Someone walks in.

Grunty:Huh, who's there?

Grublin:Hey Grunty, how the **** are ya?

Grunty:Who the hell are you?

Grublin:Who the hell do ya think, retard? I'm the Grublin that destroyed Spiral Mountain, duh. Jeez, and here I was thinking you had a brain.

Grunty:What do ya want?

Grublin:On and on with the stupid questions, Jesus Christ lady. Get a clue. I'm here to kill you.

Grunty:Fat chance.

Grublin:Lady, the only thing fat here is you.

Grunty:Oh, you little motherf....

Grublin:C'mon, do ya really need to insult me?

Grunty:Yeah, I do. Ya piece of ****.

Grublin: (sarcastically) Oh, now you gone done and hurt my feelings. I think I'm gonna cry.

Grunty:Oh, you poor little turd.

Grublin:Sticks and stones, b*tch. Listen, I've had fun, I really have. But, I'm afraid I have to kill you. Well, I really don't have to, but, oh well. Shoots Grunty with a powerful blast, killing her. And my work here is done. Vanishes.

Meanwhile, at some place.

???:So, how'd it go?

Grublin:I killed that mother****er.

???:Well, I hope you had fun. Cause now, I have a mission for you.

Grublin:I thought you only wanted Banjo and Kazooie dead.

???:I did. Now, I have plans to achieve what I never thought was possible.

To Be Continued.........................

15th July 2006, 10:59 AM
*Sings the tape recorder that talks back song*

Doot doot doot doot doot doot doo, Its the tape recorder that talks back to you!


Nice and funny and you managed to work " No **** Sherlock " into the story.

You get a 7.934 out of a possible 9.332.

Keep it oop.

16th July 2006, 01:41 AM
thx, for anyone that didn't get it, it was making fun of Saw.

16th July 2006, 02:07 AM
No kidding... *Hasn't seen saw* * Shot*

19th July 2006, 05:31 AM
Chapter 6
Kazooie:B..Banjo? Are..Are you ok?

Banjo is just lying there.


Still just lying there.


Banjo:Gets up. Just kiddin', I'm still alive.

Kazooie:Dude, you scared the crap outta me.

Banjo:I know. You should have seen the look on your face.

Kazooie:Just shut up.

Banjo:So what the heck just happened?

Kazooie:The castle blew up.

Banjo:So you mean there was a bomb?

Kazooie:Dee dee dee. Stupid.

Banjo:But if there was a bomb, and the Minjonator wasn't there, then that means it was a trap.


Banjo:So, what now?

Then a Minjo walked up to them.

Banjo:Holy crap, it's a Minjo! Kill it!

Minjo:Wait! Don't kill me.

Banjo:Why not?

Minjo:Because, I know you.

Banjo:How do you know me?

Minjo:From when you were disguised as Minjo. I was the one operating the Mega Minjo Movement hole.

Banjo:How'd you know it was me?

Minjo:I'm not stupid.

Banjo:Well then why'd yoou take where I needed to go?

Minjo:Because I knew you were going after the Minjonator. And I hate him, alot. It's a long story. Anyway, some Minjos, me being one of them, have the ability to sense other people. A few days ago, I sensed that the Minjonator was back. But I think he noticed that I noticed he was back, so he concealed his energy, so that I couldn't sense him.

Banjo:Wow, I guess. So, what, are you like gonna help us?

Minjo:Yeah. As you know, the Minjonator is really powerful, so we'll need all the help we can get. I've got an MMM hole near here, so we can go get some help.


So they went to the MMM hole to go get help.

To Be Continued...............

20th July 2006, 08:12 AM
CAUTION:some stuff may not make sense to some of you. but it's still the funniest so far.

Chapter 7
Banjo:So, where are we going first?

Minjo:I don't know.

Banjo:What do ya mean you don't know?

Minjo:We're kinda just gonna go to random places. I'm sure just about anyone would be willing to help stop the Minjonator.

Banjo:Ok, whatever.

They go to the first place.

Kazooie:Oh my God! I can't believe it!

Banjo:Why here? Oh, why did it have to be here?

Minjo:Why, what is....Oh my God!

???:Yo G, wussup.

Banjo:Boggy's Pimp Ice World.

Boggy:That's Boggy's Gangsta' Paradise to you.

Banjo:Gangsta' Paradise? You have got to be kidding me.

Boggy:So B-Bear, what's ya been up to?


Boggy:Fo sho. That's yer gangsta' name.


Boggy:C'mon, let me show you some of my homies.

Then he took them to his homies.

Banjo:Walks up to one of the homies. So, what's your name?

Homie:50 Cent.

Banjo:Dude, I asked for your name, not your bank account balance.

Boggy:Don't. He doesn't like people making that joke. And here's my homie, Eminem.

Banjo:Hey Eminem, what's your favorite candy? Starts laughing.


Banjo:Sorry. I meant no disrespect to the candy rapper.

Boggy:Yo G, just lay off my homies, k?

Banjo:Ok, sorry. I just couldn't resist.

Minjo:Excuse me, Boggy?

Boggy:Holy ****! It's a Minjo. 50, pop out the AKs, we gonna bust a cap on this mother****er.

Banjo:Don't, he's with us. And dude, I thought I couldn't understand you before. Learn English. Really. What, did you grow up in the ghetto or something?

Boggy:The streets raised me.

Banjo:I thought that was your parents' job. What, did they get ran over, so you just considered them the street?

Boggy:Nevermind. So what's ya'll want?

Banjo:We need you're help beating the Minjonator. He's back.

Boggy:Minjonator? Yo, that G's a straight-up busta'.

Banjo:Dude, use proper freakin' grammar. For God's sake. Half the stuff you say isn't even real words.

Boggy:Yo B-Bear, don't be a busta'.

Banjo:What the **** is a busta'?

Minjo:People, just zip it! We're here for a reason. So Boggy, are you gonna freakin' help us, or what?

Boggy:Fo sho G, fo sho.

Minjo:Ok, well then let's go.

Then Grublin appeared out of nowhere.

Grublins:Hello, butt-munches. How the heck are ya?

Banjo:Boggy, gimme an AK, I'm gonna shoot this mother****er up.

Grublins:Well that wasn't a really nice thing to say.

Banjo:Yeah? Well I'll let you know when I start to care.

Grublins:C'mon, I just got here. You could've been a little nicer. And you haven't even written to me. Not even so much as a postcard.

Banjo:Ya know, yer really buggin' the crap outta me.

Grublin:Oh really? How good am I doing?

Banjo:I hate you.

Grublin:Ya know, you really should start being a little nicer. It's no wonder you have so many enemies.

Banjo:No I don't.

Grublin:For God's sake, you start a fight with every vegetable you see just hoping around.

Banjo:So, they were evil.

Grublin:Whatever you say, 'B-Bear'. Laughs. Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that, you are now prisioners.

Banjo:Say what?

A portal appears, sucking everyone except Grublin.

Grublin:I told him he should've been nicer. Vanishes.

Meanwhile, at some still unknown place.

???:So, I trust you succeeded.


???:Good, now no one will get in my way. And I will finally get my revenge on Banjo and Kazooie. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

To Be Continued......................................

21st July 2006, 06:49 AM
Chapter 8
Banjo:Wh..where are we?

Minjo:In a jail cell.

Banjo:I'm in jail cell? Again? Man, can't these people just give me a break?

Minjo:I guess not.

Kazooie:So, how do we get out?

Then Grublin walked up to the cell.

Grublin:You don't.

Banjo:For God's sake, can't you just leave us alone?

Grublin:I can. But I'm not gonna.

50 Cent:You little mother****er, I'll ****ing kill you!

Grublin:I doubt that. Snaps finger.

50 Cent catches on fire and dies.

Grublin:Ha ha ha ha. Snaps finger again.

Eminem catches on fire and dies.

Banjo:Why'd you kill Eminem?

Grublin:I felt like it.

Minjo:Let us out right now!

Grublin:That's alot comin' from a little pipsqueek.

Minjo:Oh, you motherf.....

Banjo:Minjo. Just calm down, ok. Now listen, Grublin, I'm not tryin' to be rude or nothing, but, could you maybe LET US THE BLOODY **** OUTTA HERE YOU MOTHER****ING PIECE OF ****ING BULL****!!!!!

Grublin:Someone's a little tempermental. Chill.

Boggy:Yo G, stop bein' a busta'.

Grublin:Listen 'G', I haven't 'busted' anything....yet. But I'm afraid I must be going now. For me and my master will soon be obtaining ultimate power. Leaves.

Kazooie:Great, what now?

Banjo:Wait, I have a plan. A highly complicated plan. Whacks cell door down with backpack. C'mon, let's go.

They leave.

Banjo:What now?

Minjo:There should be an MMM hole nearby.

Kazooie:How do you know?

Minjo:I know where every MMM hole is, trust me.

So they find the MMM hole and go in it.

Minjo:Ok, next random place.

Then they go to the next place.

Banjo:Holy ****! I didn't know there was an MMM hole in Grunty's Lair.

Kazooie:Hey, I remember this. This was that quiz board game thing.

Minjo:C'mon guys, let's go upstairs.


Minjo:Grunty's probably here. She can help us.


They go upstairs.

Banjo:Hey look, it's the machine that makes people sexy.

Kazooie:Yeah, and that damn door that never opens.

Then Grublin walked in.

Grublin:What the hell are you guys doing here?

Banjo:I think the question is, what the hell are you doing here?

Grublin:That's none of your concern. Now, make way for the soon-to-be ruler of the world.

Then someone walked in.

Kazooie:Oh my God!



We are sorry, we are currently experiencing technical difficulties. We will return to the regularly scheduled program shortly.

To Be Continued......................................... ........................................

21st July 2006, 10:41 AM
Heh. He killed Eminemenemnemnemnemnemnemnm. That's funny.

21st July 2006, 04:07 PM
Wow, Jinjonator! This is a hilarious Fanfic! You've really captured the...spirit of BK. Very funny! Keep up the good work! I suggest this fanfic for others to read! :D

22nd July 2006, 06:51 AM
Chapter 9
This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. This was only a test. If there had been a real emergency, you would all be dead burning in Hell. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

Banjo:It's...it's...it's a......carrot?

Grublin:Ha! You should've seen the look on your face. My master isn't even here. You guys are so dumb.

Banjo:So then what do you want?

Grublin:Walks over to the door with the knocker. Tell me, Banjo, do you know what's in here?


Grublin:Are you sure?

Banjo:Dude, do read the forums? These people are freakin' hacking this game like there's no tomorrow. There's a freakin' walk through walls hack. And I don't think anyone's found anything besides emptiness on the other side of that door.

Grublin:Listen Banjo, Rare isn't as stupid as you might think. Ok, maybe they are, but that's beside the point. You see, they thought ahead. Normally, there would be nothing on the other side of the door. But, if you open it playing fair, then there will be something on the other side.

Banjo:And what would be considered 'playing fair'?

Grublin:Turns and faces door. Breathes deeply. Oh, sacred knocker door, OPEN THE **** UP!

Knocker Door:You cannot enter. You must first obtain the Stop N' Swop eggs, and the Ice Key. Thank you, and please come again.

Banjo:But we've gotten that stuff before.

Grublin:But you didn't say the sacred oath.

Banjo:Well that's cause when we first saw it, this was rated E. Now it's rated M. Before we weren't allowed to sat that.

Grublin:That's how Rare planned on keeping people from opening it.

Banjo:Those bastards.

Grublin:But now I must leave to get the Stop N' Swap items. Bye. Vanishes.

Banjo:Well, crap, now what?

Kazooie:Let's get the SNS stuff.

Banjo:But we don't know where it is.

Kazooie:Shouldn't they be in the same places?

Banjo:No. This is Banjo-Fourie. We only knew where they were in Banjo-Kazooie. And we can tell from the picture of Grunty in the first game, and the picture of Grunty in the second game that they don't just use the same stuff and keep it in the same place.

Kazooie:Good point. So, what now?

Minjo:I have a plan.


Minjo:Let's go see Pawno. He's probably got a strategy guide for sale.

Banjo:Ok. So where is he, Jolly Roger's Lagoon?


So they went back in the MMM hole, and went to Jolly Roger's Lagoon.

Banjo:Hey Jolly Roger, what's up. How's that fat girlfriend of yours doing.

Jolly Roger:She's dead.

Banjo:Oh, I'm sorry to here that. Not really.

Jolly Roger:It's ok. I'm married to Jessica Alba now.


Jolly Roger:No. So, what do ya guys need?

Banjo:We're looking for Pawno.

Jolly Roger:Pawno? He's gone.

Banjo:Really? Where is he?

Jolly Roger:He's in Cloud Cuckooland.

Banjo:What's he doing there?

Jolly Roger:Heck if I know.

Then Blackeye busted in.



Blackeye:I was finally able to get sober enough to realise that you're the bear that stole my glory.

Banjo:I didn't steal your stupid glory.

Blackeye:The boat in Treasure Trove Cove. You stole the gold from it. My gold.

Banjo:Listen, nobody told me it was yours.

Blackeye:Liar! Pulls out gun.

Banjo:Oh ****!

Then Blackeye fired, but Boggy jumped in the way of the bullet.


Blackeye:Damn, that was my only shot.

Banjo:Boggy, are you ok?



Boggy:Remember, we homies......4 life. Dies.



Minjo:Banjo? C'mon, we gotta go.


Dead Boggy:Farts.

Banjo:Hahahahahahahahaha. That's the funny thing about dead people, they fart.

So Banjo, Kazooie, and Minjo went to Cloud Cuckooland.

To Be Continued......................................... ..............

22nd July 2006, 07:19 PM
I'm Loving It!

23rd July 2006, 07:08 AM
Chapter 10
???:So, did you get it?

Grublin:No, we need the SNS stuff.

???:Well then get the stuff!

Grublin:I don't know where the stuff is.

???:Here, take this. Gives Grublin a strategy guide.


???:Now get going.


Meanwhile, at Cloud Cuckooland.

Banjo:So, where do you think Pawno is?

Kazooie:Maybe he's in that cheese place.

Banjo:You mean the one where you start dying?

Kazooie:Oh yeah, forgot about that part. I was too bust eating the cheese.

Banjo:Ya know, I never did manage to get the Jinjo in there.

Inside Cheese Wedge.

Jinjo:Can't....****ing.....breathe. Gonna....freakin'...die. Dies.

Back where Banjo and Kazooie are.

Banjo:Oh well.

Then one of the Cut Outs came.

Cut Out Cop:Freeze, you're under arrest!

Banjo:And what are the charges?

Cut Out Cop:You tried killing us the last time you were here.

Banjo:Uh, no I didn't.

Cut Out Cop:Yes you did.

Banjo:No, you must be thinking of my, uh, twin brother. Yeah.

Cut Out Cop:Nice try. You're coming with me.

Then the Cut Out cop took them to court.

Cut Out Judge:Banjo, how do you plead?

Banjo:Yo momma. I mean, not guilty.

Cut Out:I object!

Cut Out Judge:Please, wait your turn. Ok, now.

Cut Out:Banjo is a lying, twisted fiend. He killed my brother, with a grenade.

Banjo:Bull****! I'm innocent.

Cut Out Judge:Order, order in the court.

Banjo:You're out of order. That other guy is out of order. The soda machine down the hallway to the left is out of order.

Cut Out Judge:Please, shut the heck up! Jury, what's your virdict?

Jury:(in unison) Guilty punk-@$$ mother****ing snitch-b!tch.

Cut Out Judge:Ok, all of you are going to jail.


Then they get thrown in jail.

Banjo:Don't worry, I can get us out. Whacks cell door with backpack.

The cell door doesn't fall down.

Banjo:Or maybe I can't.

Minjo:Well, crap, now what?

Then Mumbo walked in.

Banjo:Mumbo, what the fudge are you doing here?

Mumbo:I'm here to save you guys. As long as Kazooie keeps her damn mouth shut.


Mumbo uses a spell to open the door.

Banjo:Ok, let's get outta here.

They leave.

Banjo:So, Mumbo?


Banjo:Do you know where Pawno is?

Mumbo:Yeah, follow me.

So Mumbo took them to Pawno.

Banjo:Hey Pawno, do you have a strategy guide?

Pawno:Yeah, but it'll cost you 1000 notes.

Banjo:But we need it to stop the Minjonator.

Pawno:Well then you can have it for free. Gives Banjo the strategy guide.

Banjo:Awesome. Hey, the last page is torn out. I wonder why.

Minjo:Who cares, as long as it's got Stop N' Swop. So, what's the first egg?

Banjo:The blue one. And it's in.........Clanker's Cavern.

To Be Continued.............................

24th July 2006, 09:54 AM
Chapter 11
Kazooie:Did you say Clanker's Cavern?


Kazooie:I hate that place.

Banjo:Yeah, well at least it's not Rusty Bucket Bay.

Kazooie:Good point.

Minjo:C'mon guys, let's go.

So they went in the MMM hole, and went to Clanker's Cavern.

Banjo:Wow. Looks around. It's just as crappy as before.

???:Hey, who's there?


???:Clanker? No, that's my brother. I'm Clinker.

Banjo:Ok, Clinker. Hey, we're looking for a blue Stop N' Swop egg. Have you seen it?

Clinker:Blue egg? Blue egg? Oh yeah, I saw one. Gloopy had it.

Banjo:Why the hell would a fish need it?

Clinker:Beats me.

Banjo:Ok, Mumbo, use that one spell to give me infinite air.

Mumbo:Ok. Uses spell.

Banjo:Ok, sweet. C'mon Kazooie, let's go.

Kazooie:I live in your freakin' backpack. Do I really have a choice?

Banjo:No. Jumps in water.

After a few minutes, they find Gloopy.

Gloopy:Hey Banjo, how ya doin'?

Banjo:Good. Hey Gloopy, I hear you got the Stop N' Swop egg?


Banjo:Well I need it.

Gloopy:So you want me to just give it to you?


Gloopy:Well I'll make a deal with you. Those bastards at Mad Monster Mansion have been dumping stuff out and it's going in my water. So if you go down there and kick their @$$es, then I'll give you the egg. Deal?

Banjo:Well, as much as I hate that place, I don't have a choice. Deal. Swims back up.


Banjo:He said he'll give us the egg if we beat the crap out of the people at Mad Monster Mansion.

Mumbo:Damn, I hate that place.

Then Grublin appeared.

Grublin:Hello ******s. So, where's the egg?

Banjo:Wouldn't you like to know.

Grublin:Well I asked, so I guess I would.

Banjo:Well tough luck.

Grublin:Well I have ways of finding out. Reads strategy guide. Press A to jump in the water. Swim until you find Gloopy. He will tell you..yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. So Gloopy has it.

Banjo:Yer still not getting it.

Grublin:Oh really, and who's gonna stop me?

Clinker:I am.

Grublin:Holy........ Gets eaten.

Banjo:Thanks Clinker.

Clinker:No prob.

Minjo:Ok, let's go to Mad Monster Mansion.


So they went to Mad Monster Mansion.

To Be Continued.........................

24th July 2006, 11:21 AM
Heh. Very good. It was quite funny, what with all the SNS gags and all.

25th July 2006, 11:30 AM
attention! before i can make the next chapter, does anyone know the name of the the big green ghost in Mad Monster Mansion (the one on the giant table). also if anyone knows the name of the things from my Cloud Cuckooland chapter, i can go back and change it.

25th July 2006, 11:48 AM
The ghost is called Napper.

The other things are called Cut Out Creatures. I think...

25th July 2006, 10:18 PM
The ghost is called Napper.

The other things are called Cut Out Creatures. I think...
ok thx

EDIT:i fixed the other chapter

DOUBLE EDIT:i messed up, i called Blackeye Blackbeard, it's fixed now

25th July 2006, 11:05 PM
Chapter 12
Kazooie:Holy crap!

Banjo:Dude. This place is freakin' weird.

Mumbo:What's with all the smoke coming from the house?

Minjo:Well, let's found out.

So they went inside.

Banjo:Holy ****! Napper?

Napper:Hey buddy, how ya doin'?

Banjo:Dude, are you high?

Napper:Wheeee, I can fly.

Kazooie:I think that's a yes.

Banjo:So Napper, why are pouring stuff in Gloopy's water?

Napper:Don't drink and drive, smoke and fly.


Then a skeleton walked in.

Skeleton:Excuse him.

Banjo:And who are you?

Skeleton:My name is Mr.Bones. This is Napper's Crack Palace. I'm his assistent.

Banjo:Crack palace?

Mr.Bones:Yes, we actually have all sorts of drugs here.

Banjo:And you guys are pouring drugs into the sewer system, which is going to Gloopy.

Mr.Bones:Banjo, listen, this is the best way to get people on our stuff.

Banjo:That's your plan? Don't you know drugs kill you? Where the hell were you during school?

Mr.Bones:Yes, maybe, and I never went to school.

Banjo:Well that explains it.

Mr.Bones:So, what do you need? We got enough bongs for everyone.

Banjo:We're not here to get high. We're actually here to kick your @$$.

Mr.Bones:Good luck with that.

Banjo:Hits Mr.Bones. Take that.

Mr.Bones:Comes back together. Stupid, I'm invincible.

Banjo:No, only the bulls from Mumbo's Mountain are invincible. Kazooie, gold feather time.

Kazooie:Got it.

Then they used the gold feathers and killed Mr.Bones.

Kazooie:Should we kill Nappper?

Banjo:Nah, he's too high to do anything. C'mon let's go.

So they went back to Clanker's Cavern.


Gloopy:Did you kick their @$$es?

Banjo:Even better, we killed them.

Gloopy:Well, that works too. Here it is. Gives Banjo blue SNS egg.

Banjo:Awesome, the first egg.

Minjo:So, where's the next egg?

Banjo:It's in Random World.

So they went to Random World, in search of the next Stop N' Swop egg.

To Be Continued..............................

25th July 2006, 11:24 PM
whats random world???

25th July 2006, 11:33 PM
i made it up, not all places in my story are real (in the game)

26th July 2006, 10:16 AM
WARNING:this chapter contains some suggestive themes, but in a funny way

Chapter 13
Kazooie:Damn, this place is crazy.

Banjo:It's Random World, what do you expect?

Minjo:So if this place is random, how do we find the egg?

Banjo:Heck if I know.

Then Grublin appeared.

Banjo:Hey, how'd you get out Clinker?

Grublin:Let's just say that Clinker was a girl, and leave it at that.

Banjo:Ohh, ok.

Mumbo:Dude, freakin' gross.

Banjo:Dude, it's not that gross. Be a man. I thought when you were a kid, you said you wanted to have a wife and kids when you grew up.

Mumbo:Th...that was before the....5th grade, when everything changed. I could never look at someone the same way ever again.

Banjo:Mumbo, listen, it's ok, I understand.


Banjo:No, you're a pu$$y.

Grublin:Hello? I'm still here.

Then Grublin suddenly grew something on his forehead. (Trust me, you don't want to know.)

Minjo:Oh my God, dude. Hilarious.

Kazooie:Laugh out loud!

Banjo:Wow, and I thought he was d!ckhead before.

Grublin:Oh Jesus! Someone, get me a freakin' knife!

Mumbo:Dude, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Then the thing jumped off of Grublin's forehead, and ran off.

Banjo:Well, it was funny while it lasted.

Grublin:Well, I'm glad that's over. Now listen, punks, I'm gonna get the egg, and yer not gonna stop me. Got it?

Banjo:No, I don't think so.

Then a giant cow started falling over Grublin.

Grublin:Oh, mother.... Gets crushed by cow.

Banjo:Ok, well, let's go.

So they went off looking for the egg, with many weird things happening along the way. After a while, they found it.

Kazooie:There it is.

Banjo:The green egg.

Mumbo:Let's get it.

Then the egg vanished.

Banjo:What the heck?

Minjo:It's gone.

Mumbo:Well where is it?

Minjo:It could be anywhere. Banjo, what does the strategy guide say?

Banjo:Once it's not a Big Mac anymore, I'll let you know.

Minjo:Well, this is just great, we're trapped in world where random stuff happens, we got no way out, and the strategy guide is a Big Mac. Could this get any worse?

Banjo:It always does.

Then they all vanished.

Banjo:Hey, where are we?

Kazooie:I don't know, it's just emptiness. Just nothing, for miles.

Mumbo:It's just like Blue Hell in GTA San Andreas.

Banjo:SAY WHAT?! That games on the PS2!

Mumbo:It's on the Xbox, too.

Banjo:Oh, ok.

Minjo:So, now what do we do?

Banjo:I don't know. Like Kazooie said, there's nothing.

Meanwhile, in the unknown place.

Grublin:...and then I jumped up, and I was like ka-pow! And he was like 'ahhh'. And then I kicked him, and was like 'owww, my nuts'.

???:Impressive, so, where's the egg?

Grublin:The egg? Well, uh...

???:You lied. I should have you killed. I should. Luckily for you, I'm in a good mood. Listen, instead of following them, why don't you go where ever they're not, that way they can't stop you. And you can get the eggs no problem.

Grublin:Got it. Leaves.

So Grublin left in search of the other SNS eggs, while Banjo, Kazooie, Mumbo, and Minjo were trapped in an empty universe.

To Be Continued...............................

26th July 2006, 11:15 AM
Oh, mother.... Gets crushed by cow.

That is funny. Quite funny.

27th July 2006, 11:48 AM
Chapter 14
Minjo:Crap, this sucks.

Kazooie:Really. How do we get out?

Minjo:If we knew, we wouldn't still be here, now would we?

Kazooie:Ya know what, just shut up. I need to hear yer crap.

Minjo:Yeah, well screw you!

Banjo:People, please, calm down. And there will be no screwing. Mumbo, do you have a spell that's get us outta here?

Mumbo:I freakin' wish. As far as I can tell, we're pretty screwed.

Banjo:Damn. Hey, wait, what's going on?

Then they disappeared again.

Minjo:Great, where are we now?

Banjo:I don't know, but I can't turn around.

Mumbo:Dude, we're freakin' 8-bit.

Banjo:You mean like Super Mario Bros.?


Banjo:Well, not counting right now, we're normally 64-bit, which mean we're eight times better than Mario.

Kazooie:But Mario's been in 64-bit too. In fact, now he's gonna be on the Wii.

Banjo:How many bits is that?

Kazooie:Beats me. They kinda stopped caring about bits after the N64.

Minjo:Bullcrap. What about the Xbox 360? Where do ya think the 360 came from?

Kazooie:You mean the 360 is for how many bits it is?

Minjo:I don't know, I can't think of anything else it would mean.

Banjo:I thought it meant to throw it in the air, and make it do a 360.


Banjo:Crap, I wonder if I can get my money back.

Minjo:Ok, can we just figure out how to get out of here?

Then they vanished again.

Banjo:Jesus Christ, where are we now?

???:I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.

Banjo:Oh God, no. Spongebob. Kazooie, do you have a grenade?

Kazooie:Yeah. Gives Banjo grenade.

Banjo:Throws grenade at Spongebob. Take that, you ****ing terrorist!

Kazooie:Spongebob is a terrorist?

Banjo:Tell me, have you ever seen a talking sponge?

Kazooie:Well, no.

Banjo:Ok, well then. You see Kazooie, it's just the natural way of our people. Whenever someone is different than us, we reject them, and cast them aside.

Kazooie:But you're a bear, I'm a bird, Mumbo is a shaman, and I don't know what the hell Minjo is. I mean know he's a Minjo, but still. Minjos aren't a type of animal, so he can't be labeled.

Banjo:Well label him whatever you want. As long as it's not emo, I don't care.

Then they vanished again.

Banjo:Oh crap.

Minjo:Banjo, it's the egg. Hurry! Get it.

Banjo:Gets the egg. Yay!

Then they get telepoted out of Random World.

Banjo:Thank God we're finally out.

Minjo:Awesome. So, next egg?

Banjo:It's the red one. It's at Movie Land.

To Be Continued...........................

27th July 2006, 11:55 AM
ok, since the next chapter is gonna be in Movie Land, it's gonna be all movie parodies. so post a list of movies you guys would like to see get made fun of, i'll pick some, and hilarity will ensue. also, i'm already planning on making fun of Phone Booth, and i've already made fun of Saw in one of my other chapters, so don't worry about those two.

28th July 2006, 06:25 AM
ok, since it doesn't seem like anyone got what i said, i'll put it as simply as i can

1.i'm gonna make fun of some movies.

2.i want you guys to post a list of movies you'd like to see made fun of.

3.i'll pick some, and make fun of them.

get it, got it, good.

EDIT:also, i'm gonna make fun of The Matrix. so Phone Booth and Matrix are the 2 movies i really wanna make fun of, so i only need 2 more movies, but post a list anyway, just in case i haven't seen all the movies.

28th July 2006, 11:18 AM
wow, so quiet
(crickets chirping)

28th July 2006, 12:11 PM
The crickets are driving (rolling) the tumbleweed to escape the owl now.

Er... make fun of pirates of the carribean (easy).

28th July 2006, 11:59 PM
ok, we just need 1 more movie now

29th July 2006, 04:21 AM
once again, so ****ing quiet. c'mon, we only need 1 more movie. also, if you guys are wondering why i'm doing this, there's 2 reasons:
1.i'm lazy
2.so i don't end up making fun of stuff no one's seen, like with Saw (read comments on page 1).

29th July 2006, 07:02 AM
well, we're not getting any suggestions, so i've decided i'll pick the last movie myself. so i'll be making fun of Phone Booth, The Matrix, Pirates of the Carribean, and.....(drum roll) Jeepers Creepers 2. enjoy. also, it will have actual scenes from the movies. but i'll try not have any spoilers. and it'll help to have seen the movies, but if you haven't, it's still funny anyway.

Chapter 15
Banjo:Wow, Movie Land, awesome.

???:Hello, and welcome.

Banjo:Who's that?

???:I am Mr.Movie.

Banjo:Well that's not very creative.

Mr.Movie:Whatever. So, I take it you guys want the red egg.


Mr.Movie:Well it won't be easy. I will place you each in different movies. If you survive, you get the egg.

Kazooie:Awesome, I'm gonna be in a movie.

Mr.Movie:It won't be as great as you'd think. You see, the movies, this time, are real. So you'll be in the movie in way even the actors weren't. Also, you won't quite be yourselves.

Banjo:What do you mean?

Mr.Movie:You will become the person in the movie. So of course, the people will call you by your characters name. So get used to it. Banjo, you'll be Neo, from the Matrix. And Mumbo, you'll be in Phone Booth.

Mumbo:Will I get to be the sniper?

Mr.Movie:No, you'll be Stew, the guy trapped inside the phone booth.


Mr.Movie:And Minjo, you will be Captain Jack Sparrow.

Minjo:Freakin' sweet.

Mr.Movie:And Kazooie, you'll be in Jeepers Creepers 2. And since nobody knows, or cares about anyones' names in that, everyone will be called person 1, person 2, and so on. And your name will be Bob.

Kazooie:But I'm not a dude.

Mr.Movie:Oh well.

Minjo:Wait, which Pirate movie will I be in?

Mr.Movie:While everyone else will only be in one movie, you'll be in both. Luckily, you guys don't have to sit through the whole thing. You will switch between scenes.

Kazooie:But why do I have to be in Jeepers Creepers 2?

Mr.Movie:Because I said so. Well, bye.

Then they all got teleported to their movies.

Minjo:Cool, I'm Jack Sparrow. Hey, I remember this scene.

Guard:Excuse me, no civillians allowed near the ships.

Minjo:Yeah, whatever. I'm just gonna steal this ship, ok.

Guard 2:I think he's telling truth.

Guard 1:If he was telling the truth, why would he tell us?

Minjo:Because maybe he knew you wouldn't believe him he told you the truth.

Guards look at each other.

Minjo:(talking to himself) I freakin' love being Jack Sparrow.

Meanwhile, in Jeepers Creepers 2.

Person:Hey, what was that?

Bus shakes.


Kazooie:Dude, this sucks.

Then the Creeper pops up in the window.

Kazooie:Oh my God! It's ugly!

The Creeper started looking at everyone.

Kazooie:I think I'm gonna pee myself.

To Be Continued.........................

30th July 2006, 01:55 AM
CLICK HERE OR ELSE! (http://www.justcomments.com/funnycomments-images/DUCKY.jpg)

31st July 2006, 09:14 AM
so you guys know, alot of the scenes in the movies are gonna be a bit different from how they normally are. most of the time, it will be on purpose.
Chapter 16
Mumbo:Why must I be in this movie? Why?

Phone booth starts ringing.

Mumbo:No way. Why the heck would I answer the phone? I know it's the sniper.

Then Mumbo's cell phone started ringing.

Mumbo:Answers cell phone. Hello?

Caller:Hello, are you standing next to a phone booth?


Caller:Then you just won 1 million dollars!


Caller:Yeah, all you have to do is answer the phone in the phone booth.

Mumbo:Sweet. Answers phone booth phone.

Sniper:(over the phone) Funny, you hear a phone ring, and it could be anyone. But a ringing phone has to be answered, doesn't it?

Mumbo:No, not really.

Sniper:Well, you know what, shut up.

Mumbo:Dude, I'll already know you're sniper high up in some building, waiting to kill me.

Sniper:How do you know?

Mumbo:Because I'm tight like that. Hold on, there's some dude here. Puts phone away from ear. Yeah, what do ya want?

Dude:I'm here delivering a pizza.

Mumbo:I don't think I ordered a pizza.

Dude:That's just what it says. Deliver pizza to the guy in the phone booth across the street from the strip club.

Mumbo:Well, I didn't order any pizza, but I'll gladly take it.

Dude:Ok, that'll be $10.95.

Mumbo:Pulls out $10.95, and gives it to pizza guy. Takes pizza. Eats a slice. Dude, freakin' awesome. So, what did you want again, sniper dude?

Sniper:I'm afraid you haven't been entirely honest lately.

Mumbo:You wanna hear something honest? This pizza is ****ing awesome.

Meanwhile, in The Matrix.

Banjo:Wow, so this is what it feels like to be Neo. Awesome. Sees kid bending spoons. You suck. Let me show how the pros do it. Takes spoon.

Kid:Do not try to bend the spoon.

Banjo:Why the hell not?

Kid:Because, there is no spoon.

Banjo:Wait, so let me get this straight, you've been wasting your time, bending an @$$load of spoons that don't exist.

Kid:In order to bend it, you must first realize that you are not bending the spoon, but that you are bending yourself.

Banjo:You know, that sounds really sexually expicit. So let's think about what you just said. First, you said that there's no spoon. Then, you said that in order to bend a spoon that doesn't exist, I have to realize that I'm bending myself. Kid, if I wanted to ****ing bend myself, I would go to yoga. Stupid.

Morpheus:Neo, the Oracle is ready to see you now.

Banjo:Which one is that? Oh yeah, the fat chick that thinks she knows everything. Ok, whatever.

Meanwhile, in Jeepers Creepers 2.

Kazooie:When is it gonna stop staring at us already?

Then the Creeper looked at Person 1, and licked the bus window. (I know, it's disgusting. But it's true.)

Person 2:Dude, did you see that?

Person 3:I think it's gay. Just look at it. It looks like it has an orgasm.

Then the Creeper flew off.

Person 2:Is it gone?

Kazooie:I think you p!$$ed it off.

Then the bus shook.

Person 3:What the ****.

Kazooie:It's on top of the bus.

Then the Creeper busted a hole on the top of the bus, grabbed Person 1, and flew off.

Kazooie:NOOOO!! PERSON 1, NOOOOO!!! Wait, why do I care? I don't even know who the **** he is.

To Be Continued......................

31st July 2006, 09:25 AM
I laughed so hard in the matrix bit.

31st July 2006, 09:50 AM
and yet somehow, i knew you would :)

1st August 2006, 06:45 AM
wats in the "CLICK HERE OR ELSE" link?it doesnt work 4 me. my comp is really stupid. lol. and ur fanfic is HILARIOUS. never saw anything like this... every chapter is awesome. great work Jinjonator!

1st August 2006, 07:19 AM
thx, the 'click here or else' link just takes you to a pic that says 'send me a comment or say goodbye to the duck' with a gun pointing at a toy duck.

also, dricenticore, how come yer rep points are way negative.

1st August 2006, 07:57 AM
lol thats funny... when is the next chapter of ur fanfic coming out? oh, and i just read your banjo threeie fanfic. it was awesome! and by the way, Kazooie is a girl... lol. keep up the good work!

1st August 2006, 11:33 AM
Chapter 17
Grublin:Listen, just give me the cyan egg now.

Sir Slush:Bullcrap. This is my egg.

Grublin:I can give you all the notes you want, just give me the egg.

Sir Slush:You can't put a price on a Stop N' Swop egg.

Grublin:You don't seem to understand. I can get you whatever you want, money, women............men?

Sir Slush:I'm not gay.

Grublin:Really? Didn't look that way from where I'm standing.

Sir Slush:Throws snowball at Grublin. Shut up.

Grublin:Ok, that's it, I'm gonna kill you.

Sir Slush:You can't.

Grublin:Why not?

Sir Slush:Because first you'd have to find a flight pad, then fly up, torpedo yourself down, and hope you hit the X on my hat.

Grublin:Well, that's gay, what was Rare thinking?

Sir Slush:Who cares.

Grublin:I didn't wanna have to do this, but now I'm gonna have to take out the hair dryer.

Sir Slush:I ain't scared of no hair dryer.

Grublin:Pulls out hair dryer.

Sir Slush:Oh God, get that thing away from me.

Grublin:Gimme the egg.

Sir Slush:Ok. Gives Grublin the egg.


Meanwhile, in Pirates of the Carribean.

Minjo:Wow, I'm already in the second movie. Damn, I'm good. I wonder which scene I'm in now. Sees a bunch of angry tribe people running toward him. Oh, this scene. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Runs off, and jumps on rope on the side of the ship. Remember this as the day you almost ****ing killed Captain Jack Sparrow. Ya s***heads.

Meanwhile, in The Matrix.

Oracle: Do you want some cookies?

Banjo:Now, when you say 'cookies'?


Banjo:I'm just sayin', ya know. Cause one time this guy asked me if I wanted a hot dog. And then there was this time when this chick asked me if I wanted some hamburgers. Neither of those ended up how I thought. It was wrong, disgusting, and horrible.

Oracle:You mean?

Banjo:Yeah. The hot dog was all moldy and stuff. And it had relish, and I just flat-out don't like relish. And the hamburgers, worst hamburgers ever. The patty was burned, and the buns were burned. It was just nasty.

Oracle:Ok. So, do you believe you're the One?

Banjo: Do you smoke 50 packs a day?

Oracle:Well, yeah.

Banjo:Well then there's yer answer. Just cause yer an all-knowing program doesn't make smoking any less bad. Ya know, you can catch yer house on fire by smoking. In fact, I don't think you were always black.

Oracle:Ok, get outta here.

Banjo:Ok, whatever. Fat b!tch.

Meanwhile, in Phone Booth.

Mumbo:Ok, sniper dude, let's get this straight. There's a bunch of police here, and I'm on live national TV, all because yer p!$$ed that I've been cheating on my wife, and banging some other chick.

Sniper:That's about it. But you still have a chance for redemption. Go out there, and come clean. Confess your sins.

Mumbo:Whatever. Takes a step out of phone booth. Hey, wife lady! I just wanna let you know, I've been fudging some other chick. Also, the guy on the phone with me, he's a sniper. He says hello.

Sniper:What the ****! You're not supposed to tell them.

Mumbo:Screw you. You just wanted me to confess, and I confessed. What the **** do you care?

Sniper:That's it, I'm gonna kill you.

Mumbo:Waiting. I'm still alive.

Sniper:Crap, I'm out of ammo.

Mumbo:You mean you trapped me in here, threatening to kill me, and you didn't have any ammo. You suck. You suck hard. I'm leaving. Walks out of phone booth. Everyone, I would like you all to know, this was all one big misunderstanding. I didn't kill that one guy. It was the sniper. He's up in that building. Points to building. Have fun.

Meanwhile, in Jeepers Creepers 2.

Person 2:So, who all's left?

Kazooie:Let's see. There's me, you, Person 4, and Person 6. That's about it. And Person 6 is knocked out cold.

Then Person 6 got up.

Person 6:I just had a dream.

Kazooie:A bunch of people have dreams. What makes yours so damn special?

Person 6:Th..this thing. It..it's been around for thousands of years. And no ones been able to kill it.

Kazooie:Well duh, no one's been able to kill it, that's why it's still alive. And ya know what? I'm gonna kill it. Pulls out grenade. Walks out of bus. Hey Creeper, c'mon. Bring it, b!tch.

Then the Creeper flew toward Kazooie.

Kazooie:Puts grenade in Creeper's mouth.

Creeper:Blows up into a billion bite-sized pieces.

Kazooie:Take that, mother****er! Damn straight.

Then Kazooie got teleported out of the movie.

Kazooie:Sweet, I'm out.

Mumbo:I got out too.

Kazooie:But where are Banjo and Minjo?

Mr.Movie:Your friends are still in their movies. Since you guys' movies were only an hour and a half, so there wasn't that many scenes. Also, you guys were in the same place the whole movie.

Kazooie:For the love of God, Banjo, you better ****ing make it.

To Be Continued.........................

2nd August 2006, 09:47 AM
Chapter 18
Banjo:(talking to person on phone) Hey dude, I need an exit.

Dude on phone:Ok, go down into the subway.

Banjo:Ok, whatever. Hangs up. I don't get it. He can have a billion guns come outta nowhere, he can tell me exactly where I am, when he's not even in the same dimension as me, but he can't just warp me outta the Matrix. That's weak. Goes to subway. I still don't get how a phone can warp me outta here. Oh, well.

Then an agent walked in.

Agent Smith:Mr.Anderson.

Banjo:And you must be, Mr.Butt****er.

Agent Smith:Are you ready to die?

Banjo:No, not yet.

Agent Smith:Destroys phone. Well too bad.

Banjo:Motherfudger, that was my only frickin' way out. That's it, you goin' down.

Then Banjo and Agent Smith began an epic battle, which involved Agent Smith using the Matrix alot, and Banjo getting his @$$ kicked.

Meanwhile, back in Movie Land.

Minjo:Hey guys, I'm back. It was fun being Jack Sparrow.

Kazooie:Yeah, I bet it was.

Minjo:So Banjo's not back?

Mumbo:No, not yet.

Mr.Movie:You guys had better hope he makes it. Because if he doesn't, all your efforts will be in vain.

Kazooie:I swear, Banjo better freakin' make it.

Meanwhile, back in The Matrix.

Banjo:Gets knocked onto train tracks.

Agent Smith:Are you ready to die, Mr.Anderson.

Banjo:My name is ****ing Neo, for God's sake. It's not Mister ****ing Anderson, retard, it's Neo. Got it, Neo.

Then a train started coming.

Banjo:Hey agent, think fast. Kicks Agent Smith in the balls.

Agent Smith:Oh God, my nuts!

Banjo:Gets off train tracks. Bye, agent ***-bag.

Then Agent Smith got hit by the train.

Banjo:Uh-huh, oh yeah, go me. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. We gonna party like it's my mother****ing birthday.

Then Banjo got warped out of the movie. (And yes, I know that wasn't really the end. Live wit it.)

In Movie Land.

Mumbo:Banjo, you made it.

Banjo:Yep. Being Neo was freakin' awesome.

Mr.Movie:Well, you all made it. And as promised, Gives Banjo the egg. the egg.

Banjo:Freakin' sweet.

Minjo:Where's the next egg?

Banjo:It's the yellow egg. It's in Forum Land.

Mumbo:Why do I get the feeling something bad is gonna happen there?

Banjo:Something bad happens everywhere we go. I can even have a vacation at Treasure Trove Cove without being attacked by clams.

Mumbo:Good point.

Banjo:Ok, let's go.

So they went to Forum Land, in search of the next SNS egg.

To Be Continued.....................

2nd August 2006, 09:52 AM
since the next chapter is in Forum Land, you guys have a chance at being featured in my fan-fic :) just let me know if you wanna be in it. also, you might die in it. you might. but who really cares, right? :p

2nd August 2006, 02:34 PM
i wanna be in it.but dont make me die to quickly.

Platinum Jinjo
2nd August 2006, 02:52 PM
You can put me in if you want , But i want to die a horrible death. What manor of death i leave up to you , your the writer. thanks.

2nd August 2006, 06:09 PM
i wanna be in it! i wanna be the person who has the next egg that grublin finds. but i wanna be really stupid so that grublin kills me cause i'm so stupid. the fanfic is great and i hope you write more fanfics (like Banjo Fiveie and Banjo Sixie lol)

2nd August 2006, 08:45 PM
I wanna be in it but don't kill me. I have psychic powers. I want to have an egg.

2nd August 2006, 10:13 PM
This story is the great.

2nd August 2006, 11:10 PM
wow, so many people, and yes, i will be making Banjo-Fiveie, but sadly, i won't be able to make it until next summer :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( unless God performs a miracle

3rd August 2006, 05:32 AM
god please perform a miracle... lol

3rd August 2006, 05:36 AM
the problem with that is, if i start the next fan-fic after i finish this one, i won't be able to finish it before i go back to school. and i may not get alot of chances to write any chapters once i'm back in school.
also, in my next chapter, for those of you that are gonna be in it, you, of course, will not have the same personality and stuff as you really do. but like i said, who cares?

3rd August 2006, 06:48 AM
hopefully, no one in this chapter gets offended. remember, this is still comedy.
Chapter 19
Banjo:Wow, Forum Land. It looks just like I thought it would.



Then someone came.

Banjo:Who are you?

???:My username is RareCareBear.

Banjo:RareCareBear? So, yer a care bear? That's sad. That's really sad. So, what forum are we in, anyway?

RCB:Rare Witch Project.

Banjo:Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, you guys are the ones that hacked my game, and turned me into Bottles. I swear, if I find the person that found out how to do that, I will rip their head off.

Minjo:Hey, care bear, have you seen a Stop N' Swop egg around here?

RCB:No, and I'm not a freakin' care bear!

???:What's going on?

RCB:Hey, Platinum Jinjo.

Banjo:Say what? Of all the color Jinjos, I didn't know platinum was one of them.

Platinum Jinjo:Who are you guys?

Banjo:I'm Banjo, duh.

PJ:With how long this website's been around, I would think that username's already been taken.

Banjo:Wow, the people here aren't all that bright. Listen, my username isn't Banjo. That's my real name. I am Banjo. Can you not see that?

PJ:So what do ya want?

Banjo:We need to find the yellow Stop N' Swop egg.

PJ:Yer kidding, right?

Banjo:You guys really need to boost yer IQ. I'm not talking about the game. I'm talking about for real.


So Banjo explained everything to them.


PJ:Well, we'll help you find it. On one condition.


PJ:There's someone here that's been trolling alot.


PJ:The Trollinator.

Banjo:Wow, that's lame.

Meanwhile, in the unknown place.

Grublin:Master, I have the cyan egg. Gives ??? the cyan egg.

???:Excellent. There's only one more, unobtained egg. And that's the yellow one, in Forum Land. And Banjo's there.

Grublin:Should I go?


Grublin:Goes to Forum Land.

Back in Forum Land.

Banjo:Wow, this forum is cool.

Steve: (talking stupidly) Hey, guys. What is up?

Fategirl:So, how are you guys gonna beat the Trollinator?

Banjo:I don't know, I normally just go into battle, and kick the person's butt.

Minjo:So, where's the Trollinator?

Fategirl:He was last seen spamming in the Creative Cavern board.

Banjo:Ok, then let's go there.

So they went to the Creative Cavern board.

Kazooie:Well, I don't see him.

RCB:Is he in the 'Corrupt a Wish' topic?

PJ:Nope. And he's not in RWP High School.

Steve:Is he in my nose? Picks nose


Mumbo:I second that.

Banjo:Well, it doesn't seem like he's here.

Then Grublin appeared.

Grublin:Hello, noobs. How are you....HOLY CRAP! There are girls here?! Listen, you might wanna get outta here, the big boys are talkin'.

Fategirl:Kicks Grublin in the nuts.

Grublin:Oh God! My freakin' balls!

Banjo: Dude, you just got kicked in the nuts. By a girl. Good job.


RCB:Who are you?

Grublin:I am Grublin. The most powerful creature ever.

Banjo:Bullcrap. Yer about as weak, pathetic, and pointless as team rocket in Pokemon. And, you got yer balls busted, by a chick. That's an all-time low.

Grublin:Can you guys just shut up about that? I think the pain is bad enough.

Banjo:Well, we have to go.

Grublin:The Trollinator.

Banjo:How'd you know?

Grublin:I'm tight like that. And, I know where he is.


Grublin:I'm yer enemy, why would I tell you?

Banjo:Kazooie, gimme a grenade egg.

Kazooie gives Banjo a grenade egg,

Banjo:If you don't tell me, this goes down yer mouth.

Grublin:Ok, ok, he's at Myspace.



Banjo:Ok, let's go. But first. Kicks Grublin in the nuts. Ok, now we can go.

Steve:Picking nose. I can feel my brain.

Banjo:Whatever. Keep diggin' kid.

So they went to Myspace, the biggest forum ever (really), to find and defeat the Trollinator.

To Be Continued.....................

Platinum Jinjo
3rd August 2006, 01:32 PM
That was funny , Does Steve ever get that elusive burger out of his nose?
The nuts things was cool and who better to do it than fategirl , a cool girl. great job.

3rd August 2006, 02:55 PM
grr.... that hamburger is sneaky! lol. great job on this one Jinjonator.

3rd August 2006, 10:11 PM
i kick someone in the nuts.hahahah.well that stupid grublin deserved it.am i the only girl in this forum???

3rd August 2006, 11:42 PM
more.... more... more.. more. more. more.. more... more.... more.....

4th August 2006, 01:41 AM
click here (http://forums.rarewitchproject.com/showthread.php?t=1841&page=42) to find the answer to a mystery greater than Stop N' Swop, you will find out who the Jinjonator really is. and i bet $99999999 that all of you will be shocked.

4th August 2006, 02:05 AM
wow dude how old are you? you look like your 10... no offense.

4th August 2006, 02:14 AM
i'm actually 13, really. hopefully, i can get more pictures. if i can, the next one will be real funny.

4th August 2006, 02:23 AM
oh, thats cool. how tall are you? because i'm 13 too, and i'm 6'2". no offense or anything, i know im abnormally tall for my age. lol.

4th August 2006, 02:57 AM
Me:Looking straight up and yelling. I DON'T KNOW HOW TALL I AM! BUT YEAH, YOU'RE TALL! CAN YOU HEAR ME UP THERE? :p :p :p LOL JK

4th August 2006, 03:12 AM
i get that a lot Jinjonator... lol

4th August 2006, 04:22 AM

you look like you got a big head...

i bet my elbow is tasyter then yours!

*trys to lick elbow*
damnit!! you try to lick yoursa..

4th August 2006, 11:11 AM
Chapter 20
Banjo:Wow, so big.

Minjo:So, where's the Trollinator?

Banjo:I don't know, this place is so huge.

Mumbo:Well let's go find him.

Banjo:Wait, I need to post a bulletin. Starts posting bulletin. Yo peeps, what up? Grublin just got kicked in the nuts. By a girl. Forward this to all yer friends. Ok, I'm done.

Minjo:Ok, let's go.

So they started looking for the Trollinator.

RCB: Dude, it's been like forever.

PJ:Yeah, are we ever gonna find him?

Banjo:Just chill, we'll find him. Eventually.

Then Grublin came.

Grublin:You freakin' crap munchers. Do have any idea the suffering I went through?

Banjo:No, not really.

Grublin:Who posted the bulletin?

Banjo:That would be me.

Grublin:I'm gonna kill you.

Banjo:Good luck with that.

Grublin:I don't need luck. Snaps finger.

Fategirl:What's going on?

PJ:I think it's the Trollinator.


Then the Trollinator came.

RCB: Dude, it's huge.


Steve:Hey, will you be my friend?

Banjo: Dude, he's not a friend.

Steve:No friend?

Banjo:No, now RUN!

So they started running.

Mumbo:I don't think we can out-run it.

Banjo:Well we gotta try.

Trollinator:N00BS! I WILL PWN YOU!

Minjo:Wow, he is a troll.


Kazooie:Someone, make him stop trolling.

Banjo:He's filling the Myspace board with spam.


PJ:This guy is the freakin' king of spam. And not the good kind, either.

Fategirl:He's saying all the biggest spam ever.

Banjo:We have to find a way to beat him.

Mumbo:But how?

Minjo:Wait, I have a plan. But we need to find a place to hide, first.

So they found a place to hide.

Banjo:So, what's the plan?

Minjo:Ok, first, we need a chair, and some rope.

Banjo:Well, I have a chair.


Banjo:It's in a little capsule. I get tired too, ya know.

Minjo:Ok, and rope.

Kazooie:I got rope.

Minjo:And how did you get that?

Kazooie:I live in a backpack. You'd attempt suicide too.

Minjo:Ok. So, here's the plan. Steve, yer gonna distract the Trollinator. Then, RareCareBear, you'll knock the Trollinator into the chair, and Platinum Jinjo, you'll tie him up. And Fategirl, I think you know what to do. Ok, everyone, get ready.

So they all got ready.

Steve:Hey Mr.Troll man person, look at me. I can pick my nose, and count to 3 at the same time. One, two, six, fourty-seven, sixty-twelve, three.

Trollinator:N00B ALERT! N00B ALERT! MUST PWN N00BS!

Then RareCareBear knocked the Trollinator into the chair.

Platinum Jinjo:Hey, Trollinator, how ya doin'? Just sit back, and relax. Ties Trollinator to chair.

Fategirl:Kicks Trollinator in the nuts.


Fategirl:Kicks Trollinator in the nuts again.



Trollinator:REALLY? THANKS.

Fategirl:Psyche. Starts kicking the Trollinator in the nuts rapidly.

Trollinator:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!! Blows up.

Banjo:Sweet, he's dead. So, where's the egg?

Steve:Egg? What that?

Banjo:It's a yellow oval with question mark on it.

Steve:Hey, I have one of those. Pulls yellow SNS egg out of nose.

Banjo:Please, remind me to kill you.

Steve:Okey dokey, artichokey.

Banjo:Takes SNS egg.

Then Grublin appeared.

Grublin:So, you beat the Trollinator? No matter, I'll kill you myself. Snaps finger.

Then a portal appeared.

Banjo:Oh God, it's sucking me in.

PJ: Don't worry Banjo, I won't let him kill you.

Then Platinum Jinjo jumped in the portal, and as soon as he did, it closed.


Grublin:Oh well, he'll have to do. Well, bon voyage, d!ckheads. Vanishes.

Meanwhile, in some place.

PJ:Hey, I can't move.

Grublin:Yer strapped to a table, no duh you can't move.

PJ:Let me go!

Grublin:You wish. No, you said you wanted to die a horrible death, so I'm just giving you what you asked for. Pulls out whip.

PJ:Wait! I change my mind! I wanna live!

Grublin:Too late. Starts whipping Platinum Jinjo horribly.


Grublin:Hurts, doesn't it?


Grublin:That was only the tip of the iceburg. Pulls out spikey mace.


Meanwhile, back in Myspace.

Banjo:Well guys, it's been fun. But we gotta go. Maybe we'll meet again someday.

RCB:Well, you may not see us, but we'll be seeing you.



Fategirl:Bye guys.

Banjo:Peace out.

So Banjo, Kazooie, Minjo, and Mumbo left Forum Land. Shortly after they left, Steve got hit by a train that came outta nowhere.

To Be Continued...........................

4th August 2006, 11:16 AM
wow, surprisingly, no one's said anything about how awesome I look. :( :confused: :( :confused: :( :confused:

4th August 2006, 11:31 AM
Mate, that's a pretty good story. Crikey, funny bits.

4th August 2006, 01:19 PM
lmao.it was funny.and i didnt die.bring me back for the last chapter or something like that.

Platinum Jinjo
4th August 2006, 01:50 PM
That was cool, Don't forget to torture me some more then kill me off. That was hilarious , I like fategirl kicking troll boy in the nuts. The nose bit was funny too , no wonder Steve keeped picking his nose with a sns eggs in it. Steve must have a gigantic nose.

4th August 2006, 03:36 PM
wait............so the grublin is one of those purple things from mumbo's mountain??

Platinum Jinjo
4th August 2006, 04:05 PM
that's my understanding , but there are seamen grublins in RBB & grublinhood's in CCW. We'll have to wait for the jinjonator to confirm which grublin it is.

5th August 2006, 02:34 AM
it's the purple one from mumbo's mountain

5th August 2006, 02:52 AM
can they go to cheese land next? cheese talks there...

and you all know what we do with tyalking cheese!!

*hinthint bazooie hinthint*

5th August 2006, 09:48 AM
Chapter 21
Minjo:Well, we got all the eggs.

Banjo:But we still gotta get the Ice Key.

Minjo:Oh yeah. So, where's the Ice Key?

Banjo:The strategy guide says it's somewhere on Bermuda Island.

Minjo:Where's that?

Banjo:I'm gonna guess it's in the Bermuda Triangle. And it says we can only get there by plane.

Minjo:That sucks.

So they somehow found a plane, and started flying it to Bermuda Island.

Kazooie:I love flying.

Minjo:But you fly all the time.

Kazooie:Yeah, I know. But now I don't have to flap my wings. I can just relax.

Mumbo:Oh God, I think I'm gonna puke. Pukes.

Minjo:So, how much longer, now?

Banjo:Hopefully soon. Hey Kazooie?


Banjo:Could you check in the back, and see if we got any beer?

Kazooie:Whatever. Goes to check for beer. OH GOD!!!



Banjo:Say what?!

Kazooie:There's freakin' snakes!


Kazooie:Mumbo, freakin' kill them!


Then a snake bit Mumbo's you-know-what.

Mumbo:OH GOD! I don't think I'll ever be able to pee again!

Banjo:Guys, the pilot is freakin' dead.

Minjo:Oh crap!

Mumbo:We're gonna ****ing die!


Then the plane crashed.

6 hours later.

Banjo:Wh..where are we?

???:You are on Bermuda Island.

Banjo:Holy crap! Are you the guy that takes people, and turns them into animals?

???:No. And it would be pretty redundent in this situation, anyway.

Banjo:So then who are you?

???:I'm Joe.

Banjo:And what's yer last name?

Joe:I'd rather not say.

Banjo:I think I know what it is. Joe Mama.

Joe:Why must people always make that joke?

Banjo:Because it's funny.

Kazooie:So what do ya want?

Joe:I think what's more important, is what you want. The Ice Key, correct?

Banjo:How'd you know?

Joe:When all those famous people you've heard of flew over the Bermuda Triangle, what do you think they were looking for?

Banjo:I don't know. And what famous people flew over the Bermuda Triangle?

Joe:Heck if I know. But that's why all the planes disappear. Because as soon as you fly over the Bermuda Triangle, snakes suddenly appear on yer plane.

Banjo:So that's why. We need to hurry and warn Samual L. Jackson. fast.

Kazooie:We'll never make it in time.

Banjo:But we got like two weeks.

Kazooie:Well he'll live, trust me.

Joe:So, can we get back to why yer here?

Banjo:Oh yeah. So, where's the Ice Key?

Joe:I'm afraid only one person knows where it is.


Joe:The Architect.

Meanwhile, in some place.

Platinum Jinjo:Jesus Christ! Stop already!

Grublin:No thanks. Let's see, I used the whip, I used the mace, I cut one of his ears off, I pulled out one of his eyes with my bare hands. What have I not tried yet? Oh yes, the fabled ice-pick.

PJ:What are you gonna do with that?

Grublin:Oh nothing, I'm just gonna, you know, stick it under yer toenail.


Grublin:Well, that was fun. What next?

PJ:Please, stop!

Grublin:Ya know, I did always wonder what a crucifiction would look like.


Back on Bermuda Island.

Banjo:The Architect? Didn't he like create the Matrix?


Banjo:What's he doin' here?

Joe:It's hard to find a good job these days. Just go to that tower, talk to him, and he'll tell you how to get the Ice Key.


So they went up to the tower to talk to the Architect.

To Be Continued..............................

5th August 2006, 09:51 AM
just when you thought the movie parodies were over, i throw more at ya. it should be obviously obvious what i'm making fun of. it practically tells you.
and platinum jinjo, thx for givin' me my first rep point. which is surprising. i would think everyone would be giving me rep points. take note, people. also, i now have 100 posts. PARTY!!!

5th August 2006, 09:32 PM
yay u can party... when aare they going to cheese land? with talking cheese... haha

and i think its perdy stoopd.. i mean you arent even in the story.. =(

6th August 2006, 04:14 AM
lol, this is so funny...:D

6th August 2006, 05:42 AM
more.. please.. along with... cheese

6th August 2006, 08:34 AM
for those of you who have not seen Matrix Reloaded, will not understand what the Architect is saying, and it probably won't sound like real words.
Chapter 22
Architect:Banjo, I trust you are here to obtain the whereabouts of the Ice Key.

Banjo:Uh, yeah.

Architect:But I'm afraid I cannot merely give it to you. Ergo, you must complete many challenges.

Banjo:What the hell is 'ergo'?

Architect:Nevermind that. But you must hurry, and complete said challenges, and obtain the Ice Key, before the entire Earth is eradicated, resulting in the end of the world.

Banjo:Dude, do you even know what yer saying?

Architect:No, I just thought it'd make me sound cool. But like I said, you must hurry. For you are part of an anomaly, and the Ice Key is a relavent part of your complete succession.

Banjo:Dude, you have to stop that, seriously. So, what do I have to do?

Architect:You have two choices. The door on your left will take you to combat arena, where you must fend off against an army of cheese. The door to your right leads to a death chamber, where you must battle against horrendous creatures from the dark depths of Hell.

Banjo:I think I'll take the left door.

Architect:Also, you must complete the challenge alone. Ergo, your friends must stay here.

Banjo:Ok, 1. that sucks, and 2. stop saying 'ergo', it's annoying.

Architect:Ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo. Ha, you can't stop me. Ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo.

Banjo:If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.

Architect:Don't worry, we will.

Banjo:I hate you. Goes through door.

Meanwhile, in some place.

Grublin:Wow, my mom was right, it is fun to nail someone's tongue to a fan blade, and then turn the fan on, and watch them spin around. Until their tongue gets ripped out, of course. Then it's hilarious. So, what now?


Grublin:How are you still talking? Oh well.


Grublin:Yes master.

???:Quit wasting time. You still need to get the Ice Key. Just stick a C4 charge down his pants, and blow him up.

Grublin:Oh yeah, how did I not think of that? Sticks a C4 down Platinum Jinjo's pants. Say bye to Mr.Happy.

PJ:Who's that?

Grublin:What do you think?


Grublin:Detonates C4. Oh God, that was funny.

???:Ok, now go to Bermuda Island. That's where the Ice Key is. You must hurry.

Grublin:Got it. Leaves.

Back at Bermuda Island.


Then Banjo got attacked by a piece of cheese.

Banjo:AHHH!!! Whacks cheese. Take that, you dairy piece of ****.

Then a giant piece of cheese came.

Banjo:Oh my God. It's the big cheese.

Big Cheese:BANJO!!! You will be killed!

Banjo:If good cheese comes from happy cows, then the cows must be pretty p!$$ed off.

Big Cheese:DIE!!!

Then Banjo and the Big Cheese began an epic battle.

Banjo:Die cheese! I hate you! Whacks cheese.

Big Cheese:Ha! You're pathetic! Die! Hits Banjo.

Banjo:Ah crap! Wait, I got it. Eats cheese. Yum, that was good.

Then the Architect came.

Architect:Good job, Banjo. You beat the cheese. Ergo, you now get the Ice Key. Gives Banjo the Ice Key.

Banjo:Freakin' sweet. So, we got all the stuff.

Kazooie:Wait, but Grublin has the cyan egg.

Banjo:Crap. Now what?

Then Grublin appeared.

Grublin:Thank you ever so much for getting everything for me.

Banjo:Not in yer lifetime.

Grublin:Oh, is that so? Snaps finger.

Then all the Stop N' Swop stuff flew over to Grublin.

Grublin:You see, I'm just too damn good. But, I'll give you a chance. Let's see if you guys can get to Grunty's Lair before me. And, to give you a little more motivation. Snaps finger.

Then a portal came, and sucked Minjo in.

Grublin:I'll be holding yer friend hostage. So long, retards. Vanishes.

Banjo:Oh crap. This is not good. This is not good at all.

To Be Continued......................

This chapter has been brought to you by the word ergo. The most confusing four-letter word ever.

Platinum Jinjo
7th August 2006, 12:33 AM
ha ha thats hilariuos keep it coming.

jumbo mumbo
7th August 2006, 12:39 AM
Good stuff Jinjonator. Good stuff.

7th August 2006, 02:11 AM
CHEESE!!!! ty! =()

7th August 2006, 05:28 AM
Chapter 23
Banjo:This cannot be happening.

Kazooie:How are we gonna get to Grunty's Lair?

Architect:I can get you there.


Then a portal appeared.

Architect:Cause I'm tight like that. So there's a portal to Grunty's Lair. Ergo, you must go and stop Grublin.

Banjo:Ok, and stop freakin' saying ergo.

Then Banjo, Kazooie, and Mumbo went through the portal to Grunty's Lair.

Banjo:Well, we're here.

Grublin:But yer too late.

Banjo:But how?

Grublin:Retards, I can teleport, duh. I've been here.

Banjo:Where's Minjo?

Grublin:Wouldn't you like to know. Well, now that yer here, I guess it's time to open the door. And unlock, ultimate power!

Then Grublin used the Stop N' Swop items, and opened the knocker door.

Grublin:Fools! This is it! This is the moment of truth!



???:Well, well, well. If it isn't Banjo.

Banjo:Who are you? If you could maybe just step outta the shadows.

???:I'm afraid not. Grublin, the treasure.

Grublin:Yes, master.

Then Grublin took the treasure out, and tossed it to ???.

???:Finally, the fabled Gameshark.


???:Yes, and with it, I shall become invincible.

Banjo:This is not good. Who the heck are you?

???:We'll find out if you're worthy enough to even know. I'll be waiting at the top of the tower. Vanishes.

Grublin:Well then, I guess that's my que to kill you.

Then Grublin fired a powerful blast, killing Mumbo.


Kazooie:I can't believe it. I always used to insult him, but deep down inside, I thought he was pretty cool.


Then as Banjo charged toward Grublin, he started floating.


Then he magically got tossed into the machine.

Banjo:What the heck?

Kazooie:Let us out of here!

???:I'm afraid I can't do that.

Banjo:Who's.... Oh my God! It can't be. Minjo?

Minjo:Yes, it's me.

Banjo:But...but why?

Minjo:What, you thought I ever cared about you? Fat chance. You see, it was a geinous plan. You see, first, Grublin would destroy Spiral Mountain. And you would all think he was working for the Minjonator. So you would go to Minjonator's castle, in the Evil Realm. So, we had a bomb planted at the top. We were hoping it would kill you. But we had planned for if you lived. After you survived, I was there, waiting for you. With a complete load-of-crap story. I just had to be with you to make sure you got the eggs, so we could take them. Why do you think I was always so anxious to find out where the next egg was?

Banjo:You b!tch.

Minjo:Funny, normally Minjos are yer enemy, you see a Minjo you've never seen before, and in five seconds, you befriend him. Didn't yer mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers?

Banjo:You turd, let us outta here, right now!

Minjo:I'm afraid I can't do that. Also, we've altered the machine yer in. It's no longer a beauty machine. No, now it's used to drain your life. Grublin, turn the machine on, I have to be going now. Vanishes.

Grublin:You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this. Turns on machine.

Banjo:Oh God!

Kazooie:I'm dying.

Then someone came, knocked Grublin down, and turned off the machine.

Banjo:Boggy? I thought you were dead?

Boggy:Nope. I managed to live. Now c'mon, we gotta get to the top of the tower.

Grublin:I don't think so. You guys won't be leaving here alive. I'll make sure of it.

Then Grublin transformed, and turned into a giant hideous monster.

Kazooie:Oh my God!

Boggy:Don't worry guys, we can do it. Together.


Boggy:Now let's beat this sucka'.

To Be Continued.........................

7th August 2006, 10:14 AM
wow, only 3 views since i posted this chapter. i'm a sad panda.

7th August 2006, 08:26 PM
*wealks tword you like a Re-Dead*

more... more!! more!!!!

7th August 2006, 08:59 PM
can i help banjo beat the ??? guy and the grublin??

btw,what does noob mean????

8th August 2006, 04:53 AM
Chapter 24
Grublin:Now you see my true form. Now, you will never defeat me.

Banjo:I don't think so.

Grublin:It's time to stop thinking. Try learning. I'm unstoppable.

Banjo:Then prove it.

Then the giant, mutated Grublin hit Banjo, knocking him into the wall.

Grublin:Well, there's yer proof.

Banjo:You..you won't win.

Boggy:That's it.

Then Boggy jumped up, and hit Grublin.

Grublin:Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?

Boggy:Holy crap!

Kazooie:Ok, now it's my turn. Pulls out grenade, and throws it at Grublin.

Grublin:Well Kazooie, I'll give you some credit, that tickled. But you should feel glad I even felt anything at all.

Kazooie:Yer kidding.

Boggy:This guy's invincible.

Banjo:No he's not. No one's invincible.

Grublin:Says you. Do you honestly think you can beat me? Because you can't. I can't die. I am immortal.

Boggy:We can't do this alone.

Banjo:What do you mean?

Boggy:Pulls out cell phone, and calls someone. Hey, holmes, hurry down to Grunty's Lair, fast. We in big trouble.

Banjo:Who was that?

Boggy:You'll see.

Grublin:Whoever it is, they won't be enough to save you. How many times must I tell you, I'm freakin' invincible.

Meanwhile, in Jinjo Village.

Jinjo:King Jingaling, sir, where are you going?

Jingaling:I have urgent matters to attend to. Give me the fastest route to Grunty's Lair.

Jinjo:Ok, but you may want to know, we have a crisis on our hands.

Jingaling:What is it?

Jinjo:Look out the window, sir.

Jingaling:Looks out the window. Oh my God.

Jinjo: Demons, sir.

Jingaling:But how?

Jinjo:I beg your pardon?

Jingaling:The demons. Last year. Last year they became good. They helped beat the Minjonator. How is this happening?

Then a swarm of demons busted in.

Jingaling:Oh dear lord.

Then a bunch of demons started flying around the Jinjo like a tornado, until nothing but bones remained.

Jingaling:Oh crap.

Meanwhile, back at Grunty's Lair.

Grublin:Hits Kazooie. Ha! You see, you just can't win.

Banjo:We won't give up. You will lose.

Grublin:Listen to yourself, trying to sound all noble. But deep down inside, you know you can't win. And I know that. Stop lying to yourself. You can lie to anyone in the world, except yourself. Just accept the fact that you've lost. It's over.

Meanwhile, at the top of Grunty's Lair.

???:This is so great. Any minute now, Grublin will kill Banjo and Kazooie. And Jinjo Village, along with the rest of the world, is being destroyed by demons. You see, the bad guys always win in the end. It's already over. I CONTROL THE WORLD!

To Be Continued..........................

9th August 2006, 08:00 AM
Chapter 25
Jingaling:I gotta get outta here. Leaves, and heads toward Grunty's Lair. Just..gotta...keep......running. Almost...there.

Meanwhile, in Grunty's Lair.

Banjo:Kicks Grublin in the head.

Grublin:You people just don't stop, do you? Hits Banjo. It's hopeless.

Kazooie:Boggy, whoever you called better get here soon, or we're screwed.

Boggy: Don't worry, they'll be here.

Meanwhile, at Rare Witch Project.

RareCareBear:Hey Fategirl.


RCB:I just got a message.

Fategirl:From who?

RCB:Boggy. He says him, Banjo and Kazooie are at Grunty's Lair, and they're in real trouble.

Fategirl:Then c'mon, let's go.

So they left.

Meanwhile, on Bermuda Island.

Architect:Ergo, you must now scrub my feet.

Joe:No freakin' way. Oh, and mister big words.


Joe: Do you know anyone named Boggy?

Architect:Yes, why?

Joe:We just got a message from him, he need's help.

Architect:Ok, let's go.

Joe:You mean both of us?

Architect:Yes, I mean both of us.

Joe:But I don't wanna go.

Architect:Too damn bad.

Meanwhile, near Grunty's Lair.

Jingaling:Ok, I'm finally here. Just gotta go inside and...

Then a demon came.

Demon:Prepare to die!

Jingaling:I thought you guys became good.

Demon:I'm afraid not.

Jingaling:But you helped beat the Minjonator last time.

Demon:Prepare to die!

Jingaling:Ok, this isn't getting anywhere. Beats the crap outta the demon. Ok, time to keep going.

Meanwhile, in Movie Land.

Mr.Movie:Wow, The Descent was freakin' awesome. Ok, let's check to see if I got any messages. Checks messages. Oh crap, Boggy's in trouble, I gotta hurry. Leaves.

Back in Grunty's Lair.

Banjo after being hit 1,389 times:Ok, I cannot take this. I freakin' give up.

Grublin:You see, that wasn't that hard, now was it? Well, at least Banjo's learned his place. So Kazooie, do you surrender?


Then Grublin grabbed Kazooie, and tossed her into the wall.

Grublin:FOOL! Ok, Boggy, how 'bout you?


Then Grublin crushed Boggy into the ground.

Banjo:STOP! You monster! You will die!

Grublin:Bring it.

Then Banjo started punching and kicking rapidly at Grublin.

Grublin:When the **** will you ****ing learn? I can't ****ing die. I can't ****ing be hurt. I am ****ing invincible.

Banjo:Ya know what, just shut the **** up.

Grublin:You b!tch. Hits Banjo. All hope is lost for you. All hope is lost for the world.

???:I don't think so.

Grublin:Who's that?

Banjo:King Jingaling?

Jingaling:Yep, it's me.

Then more people started coming.

Joe:Hope we're not too late.

Architect:Yeah, cause we're gonna architect this mother****er a world of hurt.

Mr.Movie:Yeah, we're gonna show this fool we mean business.

RCB:Hey Banjo, you ok?

Banjo:I've been better.

Fategirl:Well then let's beat this guy.

Grublin:Well isn't this a touching reunion. But I'm afraid it won't last. None of you can defeat me.

Banjo:I beg to differ.

Mr.Movie:As a master of movies, I can do anything anyone in any movie can.

Then Mr.Movie jumped up, did the Matrix, and slashed Grublin with a Freddy Krueger glove.

Grublin:Ohhh, freakin' crap.

Then Jingaling blasted Grublin with a beam of light.

Grublin:Oh Jesus!

Architect:Ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo, ergo.

Grublin:Oh God, make him stop!

Banjo:Grublin, I hope you're not forgeting one last thing.

Grublin:What? Oh God. Oh no. God, please no.

Then Fategirl kicked Grublin really hard in the balls.


Then Grublin turned back into his normal form.

Grublin:Ok, you win, I surrender.

Fategirl:Should we let him live?

Banjo:Yeah, he's not much of a threat anymore.

Grublin:Thank you, thank you so much.

Then lightning came out of nowhere, and killed Grublin.

Banjo:What the hell?

???:Well, well, well, look what we got here. So, it seems you all managed to beat Grublin.

Banjo:No, I think you did that.

???:He shouldn't have given up, no matter what form he was in. He should've fought to the bitter end. But he didn't. He begged for mercy. The world is a cruel place. There is no mercy.

Fategirl:Yer a twisted person.

???:Why thank you. You got guts, for a little girl.

Fategirl:He did not just say that.

???:I'm afraid I did. And I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about it. I have the Gameshark. Thus, I control all of existence. There's nothing I can't do. Grublin was just being full of himself. He's not invincible. I am. I have made it to where nothing can kill me. Nothing can even touch me. And I can do more. So much more. So prepare yourselves, for I don't intend to hold back.

To Be Continued..............................

Platinum Jinjo
9th August 2006, 01:39 PM
you need just a little more cursing and it will be perfect ha ha, That was pretty funny . Kill someone with the gameshark that would be cool.

10th August 2006, 12:05 AM
*wealks tword you like a Re-Dead*

more... more!! more!!!!

10th August 2006, 05:44 AM
something weird i just noticed, steve1292 hasn't been on lately, and i compared the last time he was on, with the posts on this board, and found out that after he died in my story, he hasn't been on. i think i killed him.

10th August 2006, 08:27 PM
zomg i reported you to the FBI!!

lol that is strange.. are you sure you kiled him? perhaps in the last chapter you should revive him.. and maby he'll be back?

11th August 2006, 11:47 AM
a cookie to fategirl for somehow magically know who ??? was. also, this is the final chapter.
Chapter 26
Banjo:You piece of crap. Yer goin' down.

???:Oh, am I? Pay attention Banjo, you can't win. I hold all the cards, I control everything.

Banjo:Why don't you just show use who you are?

???:Oh, but why would I do that? It would take all the fun out of it. And besides, you'll never live to find out.

Banjo:And why's that?

Then ??? turned into a giant monster.

???:This is why.

Kazooie:Well, crap, this can't be good.

???:This is nothing. You've yet to see what I can do.

Banjo:We will beat you. You...

???:Yes, yes, 'you can't win', blah, blah, blah. Just face it, I am now immortal. That's a fact. Nothing can kill me. With the power I have, I am a God.

Joe:So, mister God dude, could you like, maybe spare me?

???:Let's see, should I spare you? Hmm, I'm afraid not.

Joe:Wait, no, please!

Then Joe turned into a pile of ashes.

Banjo:You monster!

???:And he's finally catching on. So, who wants to die next? Cause I intend to leave no survivors. None. Architect, how 'bout you?

Architect:Oh God, please no.

???:You guys are quite a pitiful bunch. Listen to yourselves, begging and pleading for you miserable lives. Well it won't do you any good.

Then ??? flew past the Architect at lightning speed.

Architect:Dude, I don't know what you were aiming for, but you missed, bad.

Then the Architect's head slid off.

???:Oh, did I now? Mwahahahahaha! You see how fast I could kill anyone of you? You don't stand a chance. And this is still nothing compared to what I'm capable of.

Then Fategirl ran up, and kicked ??? in the crotch.

???:Sorry, balls of steel. Good luck next time, little lady. You know, my mom always did tell me not to hit girls. I killed her. And it'll be the same for you.

Then ??? fired a blast, but RareCareBear jumped in the way of it, being vaporized into nothing.

???:Isn't that nice? She gave her life for you to live. You should be grateful. Because she gave more than her life.

Fategirl:What do you mean?

???:She gave her soul. There is such a thing as Heaven, and there is such a thing as Hell. She, unfortunately, will be going to neither. She's gone, for good.

Banjo:You twisted fiend.

???:You know, I was gonna save you for last, but it seems you want me to kill you.

Mr.Movie:I don't think so.

???:Mr.Movie, so, you're gonna put your life on the line to save someone you hardly know?


???:Well, it seems we have some noble people here today.

Then ??? stabbed his hand into Mr.Movie's chest, and pulled out his heart.

???:So painful, so gory, and yet he dies in an instant. C'mon, I'm just picking you people off one by one, give me a challenge here. But then again, it took all you people just to beat Grublin, and the whole world couldn't even stop me. But you could at least make an attempt.

Kazooie:Pulls out grenade. That's it.


Then Kazooie tossed the grenade at ???.

???:Kazooie, I just want you to know, you just made the biggest mistake of your life. And the last.

Then ??? charged up to kill Kazooie.



Jingaling:Kill me.

???:Sounds like fun.

Banjo:Jingaling, no!

???:Too late.

Then ??? killed Jingaling.


???:This is almost too easy. Just the way I like it. Who next? How about Boggy?

Boggy:Ah crap!

Then a blast of energy came out of nowhere, and hit ???.

???:What the hell? It can't be! But how?


???:She was killed. This is impossible.

Grunty:Haven't you learned, I'm not one to stay down.

???:No matter, you still won't beat me.

Grunty:You sure?

???:I have the Gameshark, I'm unbeatable.

Grunty:Well, that's not good.

Banjo:Grunty, you may wanna get outta here.

But then ??? blasted Grunty, killing her for good.

???:Wow, I've never killed so many people in one day.



Fategirl:I have a plan.

Banjo:I'm all open for suggestions.

Fategirl:We need to find a way to get the Gameshark.

Banjo:Great idea, so, do you know how we're gonna get it?


Banjo:Well, we're screwed. Wait, I got it. Kazooie, gimme a grenade.

Kazooie:Ok. Gives Banjo grenade. I'm not sure what good it'll do.

Banjo:Trust me. Hey ugly!

???:You fool! So, I take it you wanna die next?

Banjo:You wish.

Then Banjo tossed the grenade at ???'s arm, making the Gameshark fall out of his hand.


Then Banjo ran for the Gameshark.

Banjo:I got it. Now to find out who this guy is.

Then Banjo used the Gameshark to turn ??? into who he really is.

Banjo:Oh my God!

Kazooie:I can't believe it.

Boggy:No flippin' way.

Banjo:Gobi? But how? Didn't you die?

Gobi:I did, but after you beat the Minjonator, the Jinjonator brought back everyone that died. Including me. That was the biggest mistake.

Banjo:Well yer not getting revenge now. Not without the Gameshark.

Gobi:Curse you!

Banjo:How 'bout this, we'll send you to a water-filled world, and you leave us alone.

Gobi:Whatever. But I still hate you.

Banjo:Uh-huh, whatever.

So Banjo used the Gameshark to send Gobi to a water-filled world.

Banjo:C'mon guys, let's go home. And Fategirl, thanks. If we ever need help, we'll know who to call. You might wanna get back to Rare Witch though.

Fategirl:Oh, yeah, Well, bye.

Banjo:Wait, before you go.


Banjo:We're probably gonna have a party, like we do after every adventure. You can come, if you want.

Fategirl:Ok, sweet.

So they all went to Banjo's house to have a party.

Kazooie:So, Banjo.


Kazooie:Where'd you send Gobi?

Banjo:Somewhere extra special.

Meanwhile, in some place.

Gobi:Oh crap. He just had to send me to New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. If I live, I will freakin' kill him.

Then Gobi got hit by a tidal wave.

Back at Banjo's house.

Kazooie:That's hilarious.

So they had all continued to party for the rest of the night, because once again, the world was safe.


11th August 2006, 01:19 PM
ergo,of course i knew who ??? was.i have super powers.that was a great fan fic!write another one soon.summer isnt over yet!

11th August 2006, 04:16 PM
yea! that was great.. but why didnt banjo bring everyoine back? why didnt grunty ryme? what are the size of banjos soicks!!!?! does he wear socks!@!@!?!?!?! my god!! the suspence is freeking killing me!!!!! write another one! will you?!!? will you answwer the pointless questions?!!?! will you allow me to have a seisure!?!?!?!?!1 AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

a good fic too! write another..

12th August 2006, 01:06 AM
ok, i have good news and bad news. the bad news is that i won't be able to make Banjo-Fiveie until next summer, since it'll most likely have around 30 chapters if everything goes right. also, it'll be the last one in the trilogy. but far from the last one i make. and the good news is, i'll try to make one last fic before i go back to school. i'll try to start it tonight. but yeah, i'll be making fan-fics on here every summer for the rest of my life. until i'm not in school anymore, anyway. then i'll be making them constantly.

12th August 2006, 01:22 AM
woiooooooo hooooooo

15th August 2006, 04:34 AM
awesome fanfic Jinjonator... sorry i havnt been on lately. its because i just moved and it was a whole big process and the computer was (for some REALLY stupid reason) last on my moms list of things to move. lol. so, im back, and i look foward to more of your fanfics. oh, and i still dont know who ??? is... lol im sorry if its really obvious, but i didnt see anything... oh, and incase your wondering, i really am stupid like the steve in the forum land part... lol.

Jade Souls
15th August 2006, 06:32 AM
That was the best thing ive ever ****ing read. i read it all through and that was awesomomegapwnaga!!!1111///oneoneslashslash

15th August 2006, 12:25 PM
I died great job... and if you hadn't noticed I'm a she so "better luck next time".

16th August 2006, 04:26 PM
I'm not that mad anyomore cause I just realized I'm practically immortal... I can't die... ever... :)

16th August 2006, 04:30 PM
i'm not sure what you're talking about, but i'll just take your word for it.

16th August 2006, 04:48 PM
Well as I said in Never Pick Up Strangers
I got hit by a car...hit in the head with a rock (accident)... and I fell down stairs atleast four times in my life.

16th August 2006, 04:53 PM
BREAKING NEWS: we have just discovered the female reincarnation of Jesus. LOL jk

16th August 2006, 04:57 PM
There is a lot more that happened to me umm... I can't remember though I do remember getting elbowed in Solar Plexes or something like that... and that's the place where if you get hit there you can die... but I don't know about Jesus...