Create a screwed up toy for the holiday season!

[freakycheato]

Okay, people, you've all seen a toy at some point in your life )except poor deprived little Jimmy. Keep battling the odds!). But they've all been safe and kid friendly. Now its up to you all to invent a really messed up toy, ideas are-

Baby's first Beartrap:eek:
Kim Jong Action Figure:eek:
Leech Teddy bear with real biting action!:eek:
Hooker Barbie, Fishnets sold seperately.:eek:

Good luck, and hope you all get fab careers as messed up toy inventers one day!

-FreakyC

[Avarice]

Poisioned :rwpunch :eek:
Exploding :rare Games :eek:
Dummy's Guide To Why the World is Flat :eek: (I know, it's an inside joke.)
Smoal - A synthetic coal for naughty children that doesn't produce heat when burned. Only smoke. :eek: (I'll give one REP point to whoever figures out the reference here.)

[P_L]

Remote-Control Christine from Stephen King's book Christine
Features:
-Working headlights!
-Detailed bodywork!
-Self-repairing - bash it up all you want, it'll de-crumple back to its original shape!
-Will consume your like like a drug the first time you see it!
-Really comes to life at night and runs people over!!

[holyice7]

-Baby's first thermonuclear play set; "Start a military dictatorship, and learn atomic theory at the same time!"

-Operation: Anatomically Correct Edition; "Mommy, what's a vasectamy?"

-Sid Meier's Building Inspector; "Don't let moral values get in the way, that orphanage has lead paint and water damage!"

-Subway Presents: Sim Sandwitch Quiznos Edition; "If the meat is improperly toasted, you may get sued for E-coli deaths!"

-Phoenix Wright: San Andreas; "Can you get these gang members out of their six wanted-stars?"

-John Mark Karr's Tickle Me Elmo; "Teach your children about pedophilia...or else!"

-Edward's Scissor Hands; It's supposed to be a parody of Hulk Hands, but it's not that obvious...sorry.

-Risk: Iraq; "You lose as soon as you set up the board."

-Marathon Man: The Board Game!; "Hey, kids, dentists make good money!"

-The Bible Game 2: The Rapture; "Help Jesus send the non-believers to Hell...with rocket launchers!"

-Sony Playstation 3; "What? It's a joke to me!"

[Killiax]

holyice7 i agree with your Sony PS3

anyway hers a common one Animal Crossing:san andres
"the game where you can have your own home kill your mayor with cartooney characters for the whole family"

[freakycheato]

- SimAguilera
Build your tramp status up by stripping and XXXing

-Baby's first chinese water torture playset

- Chicken Cruelty Battery Farm (beat, bash, throw and poison them)

-Hitler dress up set with voice enhancer (NEIN BRAUCHEN EVABRAUN!!!)

-Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset (from South Park)

- Little Emo brand Slashin' and Thrashin Board Game

EDIT: Little Scientist Grow your own Marijuana crop and sell it to strange bearded men! Search Warrant not included.

:eek:

[Springer2006]

Baby's First Electric Chair.
Osama Bin Laden Action Figure.
Iraqi Wasteland Playset.
Superman 64 2.

[Avarice]

Superman 64 2.

Now that's just plain cruel.

[ChillyDark]

Scenario if Halo 1 and 2 become rated E games, for kids who are 6 yrs old.
"Mommy, can I get Halo 1 and 2?"
"No, it's too violent."
"But it's rated E."
Emo Elmo toys (lol)
Beer drinking Grouch
And that warps it up, I had these ideas stuck in my head till I saw this topic.
I am not a fan of the Halo series, it was just a joke.

[freakycheato]

Easy-Kill Gas Chamber (from the makers of easy bake oven)

[holyice7]

Mr. Rogers: The Lost Episodes; "Whaddya mean I can't take off my sweater? *hic* I'm HOT!"

[Theguyoverthere]

A Telephonivision! It's a telephone, and a TV put together! Now you can talk when you watch TV (NOTE: TV DOESN'T WORK UNLESS YOU ARE CALLING SOMEONE, CALLING DOESN'T WORK UNLESS YOU ARE WATCHING SOMETHING WITH THE VOLUME AT A MINUMUM LEVEL OF 17.)

The Re-remote! This will redefine remotes for all minutes to come! Unlike your normal, tiny remote, this one is 15x5x5 feet! You can NEVER LOSE IT!!! YAY!!!!

[freakycheato]

The Infium Labs Phantom Console (Not even Santa could get his hands on that)

[Killiax]

Final Fantasy 7: Vacation at the beach of Cerberus

[holyice7]

Final Fantasy 0; "This was the game the FF team envisioned first; all the worlds of the Final Fantasy series in a single world! Yes, they were smoking weed."

[joey-achooie]

emo action figure (real wrist slitting action!)

[lamentofking]

Unique Foundations proudly presents...Foreign Creatures!

You can do it yourself! Foreign Creatures comes with a pre-made creature and all the materials you need to make your own! Plus, the materials are re-usable so you can make creatures over and over again! Call 1-804-239-6326. For your Foreign Creature and pretty soon you too can...do it yourself!

[Tanjo]

Michael jackson: The game. Gain points by touching little boys! hoo hoo!

[freakycheato]

A Camel Spider (They lay eggs in you)

[ChillyDark]

Baby's first inferno jacuzzi. (Scald yourself in the boiling heat)
Baby's first deadly bazooka (Shoot to gain points, and win the game).
Baby's first biting toys (Toys that bite).
Baby's first electric guitar (Be spongebob using this guitar with real laser shooting action).

[MumboBumbo]

Kill-Yourself Elmo.

[holyice7]

New, this holiday season! The legal* Get Out of Jail Free card! ($29.95 at Wallgreens)

*Not valid for treason.

=========
New from Hershey; Candy Bullets!

Just load an edible clip into the Hershey brand Beretta 9mm, and fire into your mouth!
(Not to be used with Nestle Smith & Wesson)

=========
New, from 4kids TV...*gunshot* Mmm! Candy Bullet, lead flavor! *dies*

[Springer2006]

High School Musical 2!

The sequal to the abysmal ripoff of Grease, now with more terrible songs and bad acting!

[Blank]

Sony PlayStation 3!

[rarenut]

Oh, I know some screwy toys I could create, although they might be funny. :p

1. Talking Beavis and Butthead dolls- Ever wanted to grab those funny buffoons and squezze them and listen to their jokes??? Well, look no further, because now you can bring all those "Shut up, Beavis!" jokes in your home!!! Funny commentary from the plush Beavis and Butthead, and much more!

2. Fake Pizza-Peaple will think this toy is real, food, but instead of eating actual food, it's really plastic!

3. Stop N Swap toys!- There's everytoy in the field of Stop N Swap, ya know, like toy Ice Keys and toy SNS eggs! Collect them all!

...and that's rarenut's screwy toys in a nutshell.

[Springer2006]

Crank Yanker dolls
Eric Cartman talking plushie
Happy Tree Friends video game

[Avarice]

Homing-Window Baseballs. Baseballs guarantied to break a window any time it's used.

[freakycheato]

Swear Word Dictionary
Suicide Playset
Anthrax Play Doh
...A Phillips CD-i?... Nah, that's too sick even for me.

[Banjo-Swopooie]

I've got one certain '' Board Game '' that spells doom:

Whats the answer to Stop 'N' Swop? The Not A Clue Edition!
Spongebob, Where Are Your Shorts?

[BanjoFreak12]

Baby's first Suicide booth! YAY!
"New from Fisher-Price, Toy Laser! With real working Lasers!"
"NEW!" Inflatable Spike Pit. Spikes are sharper when inflated!
My First Chemistry set. Includes anything from Acid To Carbon Dioxide to play with!
Clue! The Jackson Edition! Figure out which of the five Jacksons raped the little boy and where!

[Dylan Yoshi]

The toy upside-down digital clock. Always set to 11:34.

[freakycheato]

English-Engrish translator (Put in the word 'enjoyable', recieve the word 'super happy fun time waffle' :D

[BanjoFreak12]

Speak and Spell: Swear word edition!"Mommy! I learned how to say F$%^!"
Clue! Real Life Edition! Play with characters such as Bill Gates and George Bush! Now with real working Blood!
Baby's first ball pit! (If you know what i mean :p)

[Donkey Kong]

"Chainsaws for Toddlers"

[Soulreaper41392]

Human Sized Hamster Wheel! Now start running so you can power our home, ya lazy bum!

ADHD Tickle Me Elmo- he nevers shuts up!

[P_L]

- Banjo-Tooie Ordnance Storage playset - with real exploding TNT sticks!
- Weldar action figure, with real fire-spitting action!
- Banjo and Kazooie "Breegull Blaster" commemorative statue; press the button on the back and Kazooie really spits eggs!
- Mad Monster Mansion playset, complete with spiky thorn bushes and real live (well, undead anyway) ghosts! And Loggo really works!!
- Grintilda action figure - casts up to 13 different spells, from frog transformations to head explosions!
- Mumbo Jumbo action figure - real transformation spells!
- Humba Wumba action figure - use the included magic pool* to transform into any transformation in the game! When put in the same room as the Mumbo Jumbo action figure, the two will have a deathmatch!
*Contents of magic pool contain nuclear runoff and other toxic materials; drinking not recommended.
- Crushing Shed playset - complete with working grinders and crushers!
- Jiggywiggy's Temple playset - solve Jiggywiggy's challenge and activate the Crystal Jiggy* to unlock many secrets!
*Crystal Jiggy requires 2 AA batteries, not included. Replace lightbulb every six months to prevent leaks. Do not shine directly in eyes. May leave burn marks on walls and/or ceiling.
- Jolly Roger action figure - Read warining label prior to use.

Buy my entire Banjo-Kazooie toy line or else! :D

[Banjo-Swopooie]

*fear*

[Donkey Kong]

Nintendo Wii that only plays Gameboy Color games.

[fategirl132]

paris hilton barbie

**shivers in fear**

[Donkey Kong]

The award-winning book "How to tie one's shoes with a lighter and a bottle of kerosene"

[BanjoFreak12]

Banjo Tooie Mini Game: Find all subliminal messages within 5 seconds or the Grunty action figure uses her head explosion spell on you!(Over 15 SM's to find!)

Sorry for using your item P_L, I just had too! :p

[Donkey Kong]

Solar-powered flashlight...

Think about it.

[Banjo-Swopooie]

The coolest hottest fan ever! Now you can have your christmas presents opened to snow and ice in the house, and melt it all while opening the zappy electronics! :p

[freakycheato]

Swallowing Sharp Things for Dummies

[P_L]

Become a Serial Arsonist in 3 Easy Steps by Dr. Fyre Pyrotimis.

[Springer2006]

Baby's first Cigarette Lighter
Humba Wumba blow up doll

[freakycheato]

Blues Clues XXX Uncut After Dark... ON A BLU-RAY DISK! (The Blu-Ray is the screwed up part)

[BanjoFreak12]

New Dora The Explorer DVD! Has been rated AO for continuous sexual Content.
Bob the Builder toy. Now it Vibrates and is in the shape of a Bullet, only bigger!

[freakycheato]

Two Teddy Bears in a variety of...er...intimate postitions.

[Cooki-Cooki]

Barbie Vodoo doll, "now with nedles included!"
snakes on an airplane playset with real snakes!
Michael Jackson real life size doll,says over 200 phrases(batteries not included)

Osama Bin Laden's hideout base (includes real nuclear warhead and ten million pages instruction booklet)

baby's first anfetamine lab

[rarenut]

Dora the Explorer's Mine Field
Barney's pool sauna.
Toy Trains that protest the Teletubbies.

[Springer2006]

XXX Lazytown DVD
Blues Clues (Where's the ganja edition)

[Macsbuddy]

Hey kids! do you want to play with Elmo?!?!

YAY!!!

well too bad, we hav a new produc on the marcet today! it's the

Ticke Me Emo

just tickle his tummy and see the knife fly across his wrist!
remember, always across the street! (not down the sidewalk ;) )

get it now for just 19.95 plus shipping and handling!!!!
*replacement hands sold seperately*

[Avarice]

I think this one really speaks for itself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUsfrGcz0m0)

[pinkbull]

Smoal - A synthetic coal for naughty children that doesn't produce heat when burned. Only smoke. :eek: (I'll give one REP point to whoever figures out the reference here.)

Red Vs. Blue.

Everybody Kills. A childs book telling someone that it's okay to kill and your no different than you and me.

My First Pipe Bomb. Teach your child how to build your very own Pipe Bomb! Attach it to your cat and have a bloodbath of fun!

[Springer2006]

My First Meth Lab - Includes instructions on how to build your very own underground cave!

[BanjoFreak12]

Wonder Women blow up doll! Dress and undress her anywhere!
Speak and spell. The Micheal Jackson edition! over 2000 words all picked by MJ himself. For little boys ages 1-10.

[Avarice]

OFF-TOPIC: I'd just like to say, pinkbull got the answer right. Everybody clap for him.

ON-TOPIC: E.T. on Atari.... It's just so wrong...

[Soulreaper41392]

Baby's First Fire-Barrel!

[Keg]

lol, these are very good.
I have a remote control joke...

Presenting...

The Girlfriend Remote! (http://remote.funnypart.com/)

[pinkbull]

lol, these are very good.
I have a remote control joke...

Presenting...

The Girlfriend Remote! (http://remote.funnypart.com/)

I want one of those. Where can you get em?

[freakycheato]

Final Fantasy VII-2: Cloud Goes Gay

[Keg]

I want one of those. Where can you get em?
Hmm... Tesco? :p

[Jade Souls]

My First Little Ninja Set

[freakycheato]

Strip-me elmo!

Give elmo ten bucks and watch him take you to paradise.
Close the curtains, put on some Barry White and give elmo fifty :D

[freakycheato]

Bump, there seems to be an alarming shortage of ideas for deranged toys lately!

[Yiffgurl]

New from Hasbro

The toy of the year! It's Cup Madness, the game where players take turns lifting cups with money under them, keeping the money they find. But if a player lifts a cup with a booby prize...who knows what kind of fun (and lawsuits) could occur!!! Available at Wal-Marts and K-Marts nationwide.

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/6186/cupmadness1ho0.png

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/5238/cupmadness2ni4.png

[chesee king]

I got one how bout a remote controlled remote control that controls your TV remote.
(no thats dumb)
Tickle me gangster?:cool:

[gscodeseeker]

the pornantior 3000 the best gift for the 4 year old in your life

catch only goes to porn sites

[Theguyoverthere]

...Shouldn't the "pornantior" supposed to go to porn sites?

[gscodeseeker]

yea it should

[chesee king]

Tickle me hooker wait no no thats not very good.Or is it:rolleyes: ?

[BanjoFreak12]

Conker: Live and Reloaded. Comes with an instruction booklet on how to exactly get to the XXX scene with Conker & Berri.

[chesee king]

Ha:D thats a good one!
A hat that when you put it on it cuts your head off Ow!

[BanjoFreak12]

Believe it or not, there is actually a Conker and Berri XXX scene in Live and Reloaded. I saw a thread about it on IGN.

My first toy Chainsaw! Now with removable blade! Comes with 20 different blades from Super Dull to Sharper than Sharper Image!

Sex toys for Tots! Includes: Little Baby whore! It's a blow up of a girl baby that the boy's can have fun ;) with. Also includes, My first Pimp Set. Comes with Slick clothes, A cigar, and even a box of Condoms.
^^ What a night that would be!

[Keg]

Believe it or not, there is actually a Conker and Berri XXX scene in Live and Reloaded. I saw a thread about it on IGN.

:eek: show me! (joking!)

A hat that when you put it on it cuts your head off Ow!


I bought one of them. I told the police I was not injured but on removing of my hat I found I had a fractured skull!

:D

[freakycheato]

I'm back baby! And so are the screwed up toys!

Remember the bounce bounce tigger? The tigger that jumps up and down?
Well Gentlemans Entertainment inc are proud to announce a version for male final fantasy fans ecerywhere....

BOUNCE BOUNCE TIFA!
Also two awesome playsets for our buxom buddy, BBT's Poledance and BBT's Wet Shirt contest.

Enjoy!