Bad moments

[Mandolin]

Please listen to my lament, for I had a bad day yesterday.

Don't you absolutely hate it when you're in an aggressive argument with someone, and they talk some smack at you, and you can't come up with a good comeback right there and then, but then right as the fight is over you know exactly what you should have said? Because that happened to me yesterday in class and ruined my afternoon. I missed the chance to deliver the perfect come-back.

In case you're wondering, the come-back was, "you're just jealous because I'm better looking than anything that would ever f*** you." It sounds a lot better if you had been there during the whole argument, but in the end I had to walk away feeling like crap and then right as it was too late to turn around and shoot back I came up with that absolutely brilliant line. Ruined my whole afternoon.

Then there was this other time when I was fighting with this dude that had half my IQ and three times my width. I don't remember what the argument was about, as this happened a couple of years ago, but a girl who was my best friend was there and even though I was not particularly interested in her romantically I would hate to look like a loser in front of a girl. Anyhow, this guy says to me, "you really need to learn to keep your f-ing mouth shut." And right at that moment I didn't think of what to say. So I stay quiet for a second too long before shooting back with, "So do you! If you keep it open, who knows how much more lard might get in?" Too late. I lose. But my friend was pretty cool about it, so at least there's that.

But some moments are even worse than that. Those are the moments when you do come up with something brilliant to say but don't because you think it might hurt people you have no problem with. This happens a lot with racial insults. I most certainly do not consider myself a racist person, but in the heat of a fight I will not hesitate to use racial insults if the person really has it coming to them. But this becomes a huge problem if you have friends who are of the same race as the person you're arguing with, especially if they are also there at the moment. Many times I have refrained from delivering the perfect come-back because I would also be insulting people I actually like, and sometimes when I acidentally slip a slur in even though I'd been telling myself I wouldn't go there I have to spend the rest of the week explaining to my friend how I felt and why I said it and yadda, yadda, yadda. Pisses me off.

I really hate those moments.

[Duker]

But... Nothing goes wrong in cartoon world...

Mandolin is NOT a cartoon, Duker... Keep that in your head...

AAAAAAAANYWAYS, yeah. I know exactly what your saying. Happens all the time. And man, is it annoying.

[Avarice]

It happens. Life goes on though...

And you hope the other person dies of AIDS or something. (Fun fact: I've actually said this to people I didn't like.)

[DeLMrcs]

Happens to me, but I end up getting my revenge sooner or later hehehehe.

[Mandolin]

Originally Posted by Duker

But... Nothing goes wrong in cartoon world...

See, that's a common misconception. Truth is, almost everything goes wrong, almost all the time.

Originally Posted by Duker

Mandolin is NOT a cartoon, Duker...

Hmmm, are you sure? Really?

...anyway, back on topic, those moments still reek. But thank you for the support.

[Kablamooie]

Originally Posted by Mandolin

"So do you! If you keep it open, who knows how much more lard might get in?"

Mind if I borrow that one?

[Grey Jinjo]

On a not-so-serious note, I don't think Hakey ever runs into that situation. I honestly believe he has a counterpun for anything.

[pinkbull]

...Your entire afternoon was ruined over an argument?

Toughen up a bit, Christ. With your "mental intellect" and "great social cunning" you should be able to build a bridge and get over it.

[Mandolin]

Originally Posted by Kablamooie

Mind if I borrow that one?

Go for it.

EDIT @ pinkbull: it was not ruined over the argument itself, but over my inability to fight back in time.

[Grey Jinjo]

If you argue with Hakey for a few weeks you'll learn every possible comeback imaginable and then it's just a matter of remembering them in time.

[xxx]

Originally Posted by Grey Jinjo

If you argue with Hakey for a few weeks you'll learn every possible comeback imaginable and then it's just a matter of remembering them in time.

competition?

Back off my man, Grey, mmhmm.

[bobbynicjr]

that happens to me all the time. like, almost every time ive only ever had 4 good comebacks. but ive had literally hundreds that came to my head after the fight was over.

[freakycheato]

I have a comeback for every situation. Here are some examples-

-If they say you're a bastard, say "you're a bastard"
-Say you're fat, say "you're fat"
-Say you're a man-whore, reply "you're a man-whore"

Easily fixed. Can also be used for compliments when trying to get a girlfriend.

-She says "You have nice eyes", say she has nice eyes.
-She says "You're really nice" say she's really nice
-She says "You have a huge crotch bulge", tell her she has a huge crotch bulge... oops

[Mr/Sir Norris]

I suck at combacks plain and simple. Though I do have my moments at times...............

[Airman]

Replace lard in your comeback with ...erm something else (Male genetalia) and that is an awesome comeback XD

"So do you! if you keep yours open who knows how muchmore c*** will go in" hahaha now that would blow his mind.