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Kingdom Hearts: Humorous Heroes
UPDATED SOMEDAYS. Basically, it's a lil' KH fanfic.
Prologue: Attack on Tranquility Islands
The Tranquility Islands are places on peace and harmony, hence the name. Though, it will soon be attacked. How do I know? I’m the narrator, that’s how! Anyways, a boy on the island, Crad, is soon going to have the adventure of a lifetime…and, we’ll skip the dream part, this time. Though it’s a spoof of KH doesn’t mean it has to be accurate to the real thing.
Stan: Yo! Wake up why don’t ya?
Crad: What? *Opens eyes, to see his friends standing above him*
Liza: C’mon! We have to finish working on our new hut!
Crad: Alright, alright, I’m comin’.
Stan: So, anyways, what’s the hut for again?
Liza: It’s so we’ll have someplace to play when our parents are busy.
Crad: Just what I was goin’ to say. Oh, and you won’t believe the dream I had.
Stan: Try us, we’re gullible. Aheh-heh.
Crad: Well, first, I see this sword see, and then, there’s these little black things, so I go all Link on them and then…guys, is it possible for dreams to come true.
Liza: I think so, why d’you ask?
Crad: ‘Cause those black things are back!
Yep, he was right, because the little black creature started popping out of the sand, and the sky well, let’s say that everything happened the way it did in the original KH. SO, to not waste time, let’s skip to the part where he’s battled Darkside, and is being sucked away, while his friends are being sent to different locations.
Crad: GUYS! NOOOOOOO!
Stan: And to think my life’d end as a kid, how sad…
Crad: NOOOOOOO! *Blacks out*
When we last left Crad, he was being sucked into a raging whirlpool of darkness floating in the sky. Let’s see where he ended up.
((Free Country, USA. 2:00 PM))
Homestar: *Steps out of home* The Runner has awakened! Evwybody, evwybody…*walks over to Bubs’ Concession Stand, where Strong Bad and the Cheat are having the special breakfast meal*
Strong Bad: *Chews pancakes (Breakfast Special)* Mmm, Bubs, these are the best! Besides mine, of course, what’d ya put in ‘em?
Bubs: Well, some catsup, popcorn, mayonnaise, and some ants for pep!
*Strong Bad and the Cheat look at each other and spit out the pancakes*
The Cheat: Menh meh meh menh!
Strong Bad: Yeah! What’re you trying to do? Poison us?
At that moment, Homestar walks in.
Homestar: Hey thewer evwybody! Hewwo Bubs!
Strong Bad: Ugh, Dumbstar Loser’s here.
Also at that moment, Crad falls from the sky.
Homestar: Is that a biwd?
Strong Bad: Is it profane?
Bubs: *squints* It looks like a boy…
Crad: *Land on table* Ohhhhhhgh…*faints*
Strong Bad: Woah, this guy sure looks like he needs clown care.
Homestar: He wooks hurt. We should take him to Mawzipan’s!
*All like that idea, and rush toward the general direction of Marzipan’s house while the Cheat carries Crad*
Chapter One: The Task At Hand
((Marzipan’s House 2:00 PM))
Crad: Unnnnnngh, my head…*Sees blurred figures*
Strong Bad: Err, did it move?
Crad: *Looks around to find himself in a bed, with SB, HR, Marzipan, The Cheat, and Bubs looking at him* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Strong Bad: Uh, random yelling noise?
Crad: Who are you people!?
The Cheat: Meh meh meh menh!
Strong Bad: Yeah, we nurse you back to health and you yell at us? I think we shoulda left this guy on that table.
Homestar: Gweeting, person fwom other pwanet, my name is Homestar Wunner, and I’d wike it, if you wouldn’t shoot me with the lazor gun you pwobably have!
Crad: Look, I’m not gonna shoot anyone, I just wanna get home and…huh? *Sees a sheath on his belt with the Keyblade*
And at that other moment, the room is bathed in a white light as a blue crystal appears.
Crystal: Greetings, I am one of the protectors of this dimension.
Strong Bad: Whoa! You just can’t come in unexpected like that it’s…unsettling.
Crystal: Sorry, my apologies, anyway to the task at hand, creature are invading many worlds. They are the Heartless.
Marzipan: They sound like they could use some singing.
Bubs: Do they at least have wallets?
Crystals: No, they are EVIL. More evil than you could imagine, they we’re defeated twice already, first by Sora, Goofy, and Donald, and then by Eugene, Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star.
Crad: And, where exactly do I come in?
Crystal: Well you my boy, you’re the next Keyblade wielder!
((NOTE: Eugene's from another fan-fic by a friend.))
Chapter Two: Meet The Party
Crad: Wait…you mean, I’m just picked up at a random moment from the place which I love just to fight some little shadow thingies?
Crystal: Yes, exactly. And if you’re wondering what you’re doing here, which I know you are, since you can’t expect a dimension protector not to be able to read minds, you are here to meet your new helpers who shall assist you in defeating the Heartless menace.
Homestar: Well, who auh they?
Crystal: You, and your red masked friend.
Strong Bad: Higguh hoo, whaaaaa?
Homestar: Oh boy, a wavishing adventore!
Strong Bad: Look shiny face, head, butt, I just can’t around on adventures, I got things to do, emails to check, *in a whisper* prank calls to make…
Crystal: Ladies do love a hero.
Strong Bad: Well maybe…waaait, how can I know you’re not lying?
Crystal: Protectors also have extreme knowledge of the universe.
*And a crash is heard outside.*
Bubs: What was that? Did the stand explode?
Crystal: No, it’s them! It’s the Heartless! Well, you’ll be heading into your first battle, so let me just suit you up. *Small sparks appear ‘round Homestar and Strong Bad. *
Strong Bad: *Receives a green vest, and a shield with the tire on it. * Hmm, cool. I kinda like it; the vest is a good touch too.
Homestar: *Receives a blue shirt with many stars on it, a wizard’s hat with stars, and a magic rod. * Cool, now I can make, Witches’ Brew!
Crystal: Last thing to you all, Crad, use the Keyblade like a sword, Strong Bad, use your shield to push the enemies hard, and Homestar, use whatever magic you know, in this case it’s wind, since wind represents running fast, and well you know.
Homestar: Know? Know what?
Crad: Well, “party”, let’s go and kick some Heartless butt!
Strong Bad: I’m with ya there!
Homestar: Me thwee!
*All run outside in the general direction of the Heartless*
Chapter Three: First Fight
*All end up in Strong Badia, which is the general area that the Heartless are destroying.*
Crystal: PUMP UP THE MUSIC! *A remix of the M&L Battle Music plays*
Crad: Well, if this is some kinda sword, then it’s time for some swordplay! *Slashes a Heartless, and it disappears* That was
easy enough. Time for the others! *Goes for the Heartless near the dumpster*
Homestar: Umm, how do I use this stick type thing?
Strong Bad: I dunno, just say the name of the spell or something!
Homestar: But I don’t know any spells!
Strong Bad: *Bashes some Heartless with his shield* I got an idea! Go touch the tire with that magic stick of yours!
Homestar: Awright, I don’t know what youwr getting at but, *touches tire and gets electrocuted by the security counter-measures* OWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Strong Bad: That was funny AND helpful! Man, I should do stuff like this more often! *Bashes all the Heartless in his area and goes to help Crad, not to save Crad, but to save the Stop Sign, which is where the Heartless now are*
Homestar: Dwoooooow, that weally huwt! *See a small lightning sign flash on his Magic stick, and the spell’s anme goes through his empty head…* THUNDOWWWWRRR!
*A flash of lightning comes down, killing all of the Heartless in Strong Badia*
Crad: Well, I guess that takes care of that. No mo’ Heartless here!
Strong Bad: Homestar? Actually useful?! That’s a big surprise.
Crystal: Don’t think it’s over yet. You still have to beat the boss, and lock the Keyhole so the Heartless can no longer enter this world.
Homestar: And who might this bowss just might be?
*A large stomping is heard*
Crad: More or less that guy I suppose.
*A large black and red Heartless on a roller with a lance comes rolling through the bushes, and crushes the feeble The Stick*
Strong Bad: THE STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC K!
Crad: Eh, who’s this big guy?
Crystal: The boss.
Crad: Knew it.
Crystal: Oh by the way, lemme tell you his name. Though I’m not sure it’d make a difference. It’s name is Roller Knight.
Roller Knight: GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!
Very well done Kamikaze. Thought I find it hard to believe Spongebob Squarepants fought the heartless and won I look foward to the future adventures,
The following was heard from one Gold Jinjo on March the fourth at...well 3:17 EST.
Gold: Suck it, Trebek.That is all.