An Abridged Autobiography

[firealpha]

I was born on a cold, snowy summer day, in a log cabin on my birthday. I came out of my mother's vagina and said hello to the world. At the time I thought it was a giant testicle, but that's another story.

(Abridged)

When I was 10 I peed my pants. It was pretty funny actually.

(Abridged)

I joined the Rare Witch Project in January of 2007. I was pretty sure of this at the time.

I remember that summer I was really stupid and felt I made a friendship with the one called P.o.t.O. In reality, he probably didn't care about me. Except for my ass, but that doesn't really count.

(Abridged)

So one day, Tuesday actually, I was walking down the street when someone said to me, "GAWDDAMMIT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WILL YOU GET THE FECK AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN?"

So yeah. I found out that the whole time I had been P.o.t.O.

I died of a heart attack at this very moment.

R.I.P. firealpha712/P.o.t.O ????-July 29, 2008

A week later I wrote my autobiography. Publishing companies found it to be too long, so they all refused to publish it and one ripped up the majority of it.

So basically this is all that's left. Perhaps as time goes on, I will be able to fill in the gaps for you.

So stay tuned folks.

[Deltonax]

*Grey logs on*

*Deletes thread*

*Firealpha cries in his room like a baby*



Just kidding Fire, I am actually interested in what you will add to your autobiography.

[skine99]

You spoiled the ending.

[firealpha]

On August 5, 2008, I posted my abridged autobiography on the Rare Witch Project. Deltonax made a joke about an admin logging on and deleting it, but as it turns out, said admin had been logged on at the time I posted this. Skine99 complained that I was spoiling the ending in the very first part, but as they say "It's not if you win or lose, it's how you play the game." And oh, I played that game.

Plus he already should have known that I eventually die.

After Skine99 posted, I eventually posted back telling the story of August 5, 2008. It probably wasn't what everybody was looking for, but no one ever gives me any slack. People can't just wait until the next update in hopes that they'll enjoy it more.

[TheNinthDoctor]

On August 07, 2008, The Ninth Doctor posted his biography of Jay's autobiographical post describing his autobiography.





...

[firealpha]

In Kindergarten--the first day actually--I saw a girl. Actually I saw about 15 girls. But there's one specific girl that I'm trying to talk to you about. So just shut up and let me tell you.

Let's call this girl... "Girl #1" So, "Girl #1" was kinda pretty. And I didn't know that I was supposed to think that girls had cooties and stuff. So I was all, <3 about this girl. Kindergarten love at first sight.

Eventually I learned that though I was 5, she was 4.

I went through the rest of my life liking girls younger than me, if you catch what I'm saying here.

What? You don't?

Damnit, I told you I was P.o.t.O in the freakin' first post!

[TheNinthDoctor]

Juliet was like 12 and Romeo was an adult.

Also the tragedy of that play is not that they both died for love, it is that they both did not have true love for each other but juvenile crushes and so they both died for nothing.