Ask Gruntilda

[Mandolin]

While the Lord of Games and Piddles aren't watching, Gruntilda sneaks off from work to goof around online.

She logs onto her favorite website and cackles with delight:

"The puny mortals on this forum, how they squabble! I adore 'em!
Come and sit on Grunty's knee;
Ask anything you want to me;
Here I am, and here I'll be;
I won't bite you...

...probably."

[Al K. Holic]

How much does it cost to purchase a Super Gutlifter Pro-the broomstick you used to fly on?

[Spudfish93]

This one is odd, so I'll ask slow - why in games, do you truly blow?

[Mandolin]

Originally Posted by Al K. Holic

How much does it cost to purchase a Super Gutlifter Pro-the broomstick you used to fly on?

Gruntilda strokes her chin in a disturbingly suggestive manner and replies:

"More than twice every doubloon in Jolly Roger's old lagoon;
For smoother lift and flying faster, you can't go wrong with the Lardmaster."

Originally Posted by Spudfish93

This one is odd, so I'll ask slow - why in games, do you truly blow?

Gruntilda's brow furrows into an amorphous bony mass:

"Watch your tongue, you little prick,
Rhyming couplets are my shtick!"

[Jackjack71]

Grunty...

Why are you such a bitch?

[Al K. Holic]

Why exactly do you blow balloons up with your ass at parties?

[Twi]

Originally Posted by Gruntilda

"More than twice every doubloon in Jolly Roger's old lagoon;
For smoother lift and flying faster, you can't go wrong with the Lardmaster."

Landmaster?

[MetalHeroOfTime]

Grunty, why do you rhyme?
Do you have to do it all the time?

[Mandolin]

Originally Posted by Jackjack71

Grunty...

Why are you such a bitch?

Gruntilda shakes her head and wags her finger at you, possibly an underwhelming impression of Sonic the Hedgehog:

"From Scandinavia, a frozen domain,
Comes my grandpappy; he was a great Dane."

Originally Posted by Al K. Holic

Why exactly do you blow balloons up with your ass at parties?

Gruntilda, touched that you would remember, cheerily replies:

"The Internet says, from New York to Beijing,
A whole lot of guys go for that sort of thing."

Originally Posted by MetalHeroOfTime

Grunty, why do you rhyme?
Do you have to do it all the time?

Gruntilda counts off the syllables on her bony green fingers:

"I don't have to do it, but that's what I do;
It makes me endearing and keeps me sharp, too."

[Spudfish93]

Originally Posted by Mandolin

"Watch your tongue, you little prick,
Rhyming couplets are my shtick!"

Hold your onto your hat you crazy witch, you're not the only rhyming bitch.

It must be embarrassing, but you mustn't glare, always being beaten by a honeybear.

[Al K. Holic]

How come we never saw your pet dog, Legchomper or whatever the hell his (her?) name is?

[WBud]

Grunty, how would you like me to cook you a Super Fast Jellyfish? Just in three microwave minutes!