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#1
7th July 2012, 07:46 AM
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Full on Crisis Mode
Before we start, yeah, this is another one of my famous "Fred Threads". For those who don't know "Fred" is what I called a girl I used to have a massive crush on (real name Makaila) but has since become like a little sister/best friend to me. I had sadly moved recently after becoming her "protector" of sorts but we've kept in decent contact until a little more than a year ago. Then shit hit the fan.
Some of you who remember the Fred Threads, you might remember a scenester tosspot named Josh. I saw on Facebook that she recently started dating the guy again. Not wanting to tell her how to live her own life, I stayed away from the update, even though it upset me. She then started texting me things like "It's like we're not even friends anymore". She was mad and...yeah she kinda had a right to be. We hadn't been in contact for almost a year and a half, but I texted that I was sorry and that I'd get there as soon as I could. Tonight, she called me. She was mad about me not visiting and I apologized and we joked around for awhile, but then...she kinda dropped a bomb on me. She said she was moving to a small town near Dallas (it's about 3 hours away). Surprised I asked why. She then said she was moving in with Josh. I immediately went into panic mode. I tried to tell her how bad that was a horrible idea. I tried to tell her how she's only 18 and shouldn't make such a huge life decision. She honestly doesn't seem to get it. She's downplaying the whole thing during our whole conversation. I'm freaking out and she's just kinda...not even responding really. She eventually goes, "Hee hee are you jealous?" That kinda pissed me off. "That has NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. This is REALLY DUMB! When are you moving?" "2 to 3 months." "Good. I have time." "Time for what?" "I'm going to stop you." We kind of went back and forth like that for a while and we eventually just got off the phone. Makaila was to finish her movie and I was to start packing for the funeral I've got to go to tomorrow. What in the hell do I do now? I plan on getting down there but...then what? I can't afford to make the trip myself, so I'll be riding with Jason but still...now what?
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I have all the cookies but oatmeal. - 1UP dicks are like RRRRROAR - Mag
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#2
7th July 2012, 07:51 AM
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If you're planning some sort of heroic intervention, you best prepare to throw everything into it, and I do mean everything.
If you don't go, you can hang on to your friendship and life goes on. If you do go, you run the risk of pushing her away forever with what she might see as a jealous temper tantrum. The gamble is, she might be taken aback by how dedicated you are to her, and that might work in your favor. Again, I repeat, this is a massive gamble. It is all or nothing as far as your relationship with her is concerned. Think before you act, or you will make a mistake that could cost you.
__________________
For all of those people who don't like me.
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#3
7th July 2012, 08:01 AM
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As someone who knows a hell of a lot about blind 18 year olds, there isn't much you can do. If she's gonna do it and she really has her heart set on it, then she'll do it.
The most you can do is lay down exactly what you think. "I'm being 100% serious with you. As your best friend, I do not think this is a good idea whatsoever. You know he's a bad guy because of " (insert reasons here) "and I can only imagine it would get worse if you were to move in with him. You broke up with him before, remember? Do you remember why you separated? What if those problems came up again? You won't have anywhere to live. And god knows what could happen while you're staying there." And so on and so forth. Just make it entirely clear that you think this is a horrible idea. Lay out your thoughts in an organized fashion, then let it be. Make your mark. If she really is your friend and she really does care about you in a best-friend fashion, she would heed your advice. If she doesn't, then you ought to realize that nothing of value was lost.
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GTSWHOT NDHTDA PMEIW STWH;NYC
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#4
7th July 2012, 08:06 AM
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Quote:
1) He lives in Dallas. She lives 3 hours away. They've had very little actual physical contact. And now they're going to be together all the time. That's never good. 2) Josh was an asshole before. And she was awful to him. That kind of animosity in the same house with a guy who doesn't know how to handle his anger very well in the first place? **** that. ****. That. 3) This is probably the one that has the least ground in reality, but...I feel like this was partially my fault. I mean even back in 2009, everyone said that after I moved away to Tyler, Makaila kind of lost her mind and became something of a bitch and that whenever I came to visit for a while, she got better for a while. When I wasn't around to ask, she figured that guys gave better advice because they were more analytic in general. Thing is, she's attractive. If the guy wasn't an ex and hated her, he was a massive pushover and just told her what she wanted to hear. I helped her with major decisions and made sure she didn't do anything stupid because I told her like it really is and didn't let her puppy dog eyes work on me. I gave her advice on how to deal with people. As egotistical as it sounds, I was her functioning moral compass. Now, after a year and a half away, she's gone full retard and decided to move in with her asshole ex-boyfriend. Unacceptable. I've got to stop her. I don't care if she never talks to me again. I don't want her to **** up her life.
__________________
I have all the cookies but oatmeal. - 1UP dicks are like RRRRROAR - Mag
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#5
7th July 2012, 08:09 AM
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The one thing I can tell you is that you should prepare for the scenario in which you fail and that your entire trip seems like a waste of time...
Sucks, but it's a hugely likely situation. Regardless, good luck bro.
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End.
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#6
7th July 2012, 08:09 AM
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First I want to ask you: Why do you care so much about this person who obviously isn't the brightest on her own?
__________________
GTSWHOT NDHTDA PMEIW STWH;NYC
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#7
7th July 2012, 08:17 AM
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I was the first dude she ever hung out with and other than being fully vulnerable to her pleas, the other guys she hangs out with tend to be, at least in part, similar to me. Meanwhile, while I've always been more keen to hang out with girls, Makaila was the first girl I ever hung out with outside of school. She's the only chick I know IRL that laughs at the stupid nonsequitur bullshit I do. She's no intellectual, but if she isn't going ga-ga over someone, she's pretty good at reading people. We're just...friends. If I went through a list of all the friends I have, I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly why we're friends. Hell, I could probably come up with a much longer list of why it's weird that we're friends at all. We just kind of click and end up caring about each other. I look out for them and they look out for me. Pez, yeah, I know. It really is a stark possibility. I've got to prepare myself for it...
__________________
I have all the cookies but oatmeal. - 1UP dicks are like RRRRROAR - Mag
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#8
7th July 2012, 08:52 AM
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Quote:
__________________
GTSWHOT NDHTDA PMEIW STWH;NYC
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#9
7th July 2012, 01:09 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I have all the cookies but oatmeal. - 1UP dicks are like RRRRROAR - Mag
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#10
7th July 2012, 01:26 PM
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Is it possible that Josh has changed? People do that. Maybe he's learned to control his anger and is a better guy now.
__________________
Hopelessly confused and lost.
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#11
7th July 2012, 01:57 PM
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You and Jason will just have to tell it to her straight. Don't sugar-coat it, just tell Fred that the guy is an asshole, they haven't spoken in person much, and that she needs to think it out more before she moves 3 hours away. That's the only thing you can do, but it's the right thing to do, even if she hates you for it and/or moves in with him anyways. I can't guarantee it'll work, in fact, it probably won't, but it's better than staying home and doing nothing.
__________________
"I'll finish zipping up my shoes when you zip up my wounded emotions"
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#12
7th July 2012, 02:03 PM
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It's honestly none of your business what she does. I've had a couple good friends of mine move 100 miles away to Florida, and I never got uptight about it or told them I was going to stop them from going. That's because it's not my place.
Last time I checked it wasn't your life to live.
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#13
7th July 2012, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
__________________
ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)
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#14
7th July 2012, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I have all the cookies but oatmeal. - 1UP dicks are like RRRRROAR - Mag
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#15
7th July 2012, 03:42 PM
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If I learned anything about trying to protect people from being idiots, it's that when confronted about it they only want to be even more of a blithering idiot and make even more stupid decisions. Not saying she's like that too, but from my experience the best and only thing to do is let them self destruct to a point when they realize themselves that they were wrong and you were only trying to help them. It's sad, but sometimes that's how it has to be :\.
__________________
☼DementedSun☼ "I guess the only way to truly enjoy a CoD game is to be a thick-necked neanderthal bro." -Tanjo
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