Stephen Colbert's Stop and Swop Theory.
 

Or simply, SCSAST. It's been a long time coming and I can't contain my thoughts any longer. Like a Lion approaching it's doomed prey, I am going to tackle what I think is the biggest conspiracy next to water, Stop and Swop.

H-H-HERE WE GO! THIS IS SCSAST!

So they're finally here, to confuse you
If you share my frustration, you can join in too!
Pull your fist cuffs back, if you wanna kill
As I take you through, Rareware's drill!

Now, Nation, it goes without saying that Rare has pulled their fair share of tricks and traps. They're most infamously known Stop and Swop (Which I'll refer to from now on as S&S.) which drove many people mad for many years. It involves two games, Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie. If you want to get technical, I'll say it included Donkey Kong 64.
This threesome between a Bear a Bird and a Donkey and since has become the worlds most known video game mystery. Rare's hardly ever let any details escape from their evil, gaping, golden-lined mouths. They refuse to go into any detail about it in any interviews and we still don't know if it's going to appear in Banjo-Ka-whocaresaboutthemIwantStopandSwop! Damn!

Anyway, what it is (Or what it's thought to be is) a way to link Banjo-Kazooie to Banjo-Tooie and maybe even Donkey Kong 64. Gather six colourful rainbow eggs and a key made of ice and then do... something...
That's just it! WHAT IS IT?! Well, it was revealed on this very site that it was for multiplayer. Co-op to be specific. The second player is Devil Bottles and... Well, I'm sure you know.
Why would Rare hide it? Well... because switching cartridges is apparently "DANGEROUS" and "Something only evil people would do." That's what they said... from my memory, anyway... Maybe it's not exact quotes...
Well Devil Bottles is something evil, right? Rare was evil then, weren't they?
The point is that it wasn't whether Rare was evil or not but they were sure going to extreme lengths to cover it up!

Now I'm going to try and sound remotely sane, so prepare yourself.

Rare, bent on teaching kids to play with demonic moles and about the laws of possession. After all that and all their lies and making every fan of the BK series pissed off...
Now look at their new game. They put vehicles in it. Everyone knows vehicles pollute, that's bad for the Earth. Now, there is something else on this planet that pollutes and possesses and may be the form of Lucifer on Earth.

Microsoft.

Rare joined Microsoft in an effort to bring evil to this world!

...And frustration to millions of gamers everywhere...

lolwut?

Are you being serious?

No, of course not.

EDIT: Now that you mention I don't think I've ever been serious on these forums...

Maybe that will change in my next topic.

Is anyone in the Banjo Theories ever serious?

Your right. I didn't even read your post, sorry. But how could Stepehn Colbert be wrong?

Are you REALLY Stephen himself?

We went over this already, but I bet you could play the character of Stephen Colbert almost as well as Stephen Colbert.

Well... maybe like a much younger version of him...

this is hilarious witha capital "I"

I lol'd....he's not a donkey

lmfao donkey

You seriously could pass off for Colbert online if you wanted to. The voice style is uncanny.

OMG Wut pruf naow.

0.ol

i still think my theory was better..

The one about pokemon?
NO, It wasn't.
There was no point for this post, it's not like he had anything to do with the locking of your theory

Your theory was one of the worst I'd seen in a while.

Seriously, it made NO SENCE. If you wantto try repeat it to me, I'll gladly explain its faults. But not in this thread.

Also, Colbert... you really do sound like the real Steven Colbert. :smug: