Originally Posted by Tanjo
(Post 522182)
Look at it like this: You're really in the mood for some pie. You haven't had pie in so long, you can hardly contain your lust for the flaky pie goodness. Then, your grandmother tells you she's going to bake you a pie, and shows you all the un-prepared ingredients. You get excited, you can't wait to endulge upon it. You wait in the living room, oblivious to what kind of pie your grandmother is making you. But you can't wait to find out. Your grandmother comes in and says "Your pie is almost ready!" your face lights up with glee. "But" says your grandmother, "There is a twist to the pie". You give her a confused look. "It's still a pie, and I just know you're going to love it! But it's a different kind of pie."
She opens the oven and shows you. Hmm, looks like a pie. It's got crust, it's in a tin, everything that's supposed to be there is there. But it smells odd. "What's that smell?" you ask your Grandmother. "Why it's the eggs dear!" says your grandmother. "...what?" you respond. "The eggs! I've been baking fruit and meat pies all my life, I decided to spice things up and make something different. An egg pie!" You give her a blank stare. "Ohh don't worry dear, it's still a pie! It's just a little different. I'm sure you'll love it!" You reluctantly say "...alright, I guess I'll try it."
A little while passes and your grandmother brings the pie to the table. A little less excited now, you're still hungry, and hope the pie will be good. Your uncle and your cousins come to the table, and your grandmother begins to slice the pie and give it to everyone. You stare at your slice. It's a pie on the outside...but on the inside it's an omlette...You prod at it with your fork. It's got crust, it's warm, it's got filling, but it's not the filling you expected. You cut off a piece and take a bite. Hey, it's not that bad. You take some more. Nah, this is actually pretty good. Yeah, this is an okay pie! You're beginning to like it. You finish the pie, for some reason you are unsatisfied. But your uncle grins and asks for another slice. Your cousins seem blurry, and confused. They like it, but they would rather have a normal pie.
You begin to realize that you still crave a fruit pie. You wish your grandmother would've made you one in the first place. Then you get food poisoning and chronic diarrhea. On your death bed, you say to your Grandmother "please, just make me a one of your world famous regular pies", but she responds "I'm bored of making regular pies, I think I might make egg pies from now on. Your uncle seems to like them." You say "but I'm on my death bed! Surely you could make me one more apple pie, or blueberry pie, please!" Your grandmother looks at you and says "I might, I'm not ruling it out. I'm just really happy with the pies I make right now." Then you crap your pants, puke, and choke to death on your own vomit.
That's how I feel with Nuts and Bolts.
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts gave me chronic diarrhea.
EDIT: OH, AND THE PIE IS ALSO BAKED SQUARE INSTEAD OF ROUND. I HATE YOU RARE, I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. WRITING THIS POST MADE ME DEPRESSED ;_;
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