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Old 31st July 2011, 05:21 AM
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Jinjonator Jinjonator is offline
Story of the Year '10 - '11
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: California
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As Interesting As Watching Paint Dry

The first thing I remember is being in a very dark place. I'm not sure how I got there. I tried to move, maybe find a way out, but it was becoming clear very quickly that I did not have the ability to do so. I wondered what it was that made me think I could move in the first place.

That was the first time it occurred to me that there was something strange.

The darkness was still very... dark. But I had grown used to it. Wherever I was, this was where I was supposed to be. At least, that's what I was hoping, because if it wasn't... well, that would certainly raise a number of interesting questions, wouldn't it?

I'm not sure how long it was that I sat in this dark place, but it felt like forever. Maybe longer than that, but I didn't have a watch on me, so I couldn't say with any certainty. Not sure if I'd be able to tell time even if I did have a watch. I was not, in fact, entirely sure what a watch was, or how I knew about it. I kind of just did.

But one day, everything changed.

I felt the world lift up around me, and I got a sinking feeling in what would have been my stomach, if I was certain that I had to stomach capable of sinking to begin with. I wasn't sure that I did. But when the world lifts up around you, you notice that, stomach or no stomach.

I could feel myself swishing around. Now that's peculiar, isn't it? Swishing around. Like I was water or something. But water isn't capable of intelligent thought, as we all know. Water is (as an aside, for those not in the know) the intellectual equivalent of Rain Man. (Who was made up of 70% water, by the way, and not without good reason)

So then why was I swishing around? And where was the world going?

Before I knew it, the world had stopped moving around. Whatever it was doing, it seemed to be done, and had gone back to where it was before. Which is good. It's hard to think when the world keeps moving.

Then something happened. Something that changed everything.

Before my eyes (I had eyes, didn't I?), the sky disappeared. To this day, I don't know where it went, but I was certain the apocalypse was upon me. It was only a matter of time before drops of water came down from the sky on water horses, to take away my soul. The Reckoning had come.

Why else would the sky disappear? It certainly didn't do that every day. Or any day, as far as I knew.

But there was no water coming to take me to the place you go when you stop being alive. Instead, there was a giant, monstrous thing coming toward me. It was a handle that had what appeared to be the largest mo-hawk in the world. If you want to know the truth, it seemed like the whole thing was a mo-hawk. Whatever it was, it was coming for me.

I could feel it inside of me. It kind of tickled.

Next thing I knew, this mo-hawk creature which had infiltrated my world left. The next part I can scarcely describe with words. It took me with it. I was riding the mo-hawk.

I won't lie. I had never felt so terrified in my life. In an instant, I found myself a hundred feet over the air. Suddenly, there was a whole new world all around me. It was at least a trillion times larger than my world, if I had to guesstimate.

This must have been outer space. I was out in the universe.

There were countless things surrounding me, and I had no idea what any of them were, or how to begin describing them. But I did notice there seemed to be a giant... something... attached to the handle-mo-hawk on which I was being suspended in air. It looked like Rain Man. Only a different Rain Man. Whatever it was, it controlled the mo-hawk. It guided it through the vast reaches of outer space.

Then came the wall.

Without any warning, the mo-hawk crashed into a massive wall, which may or may not have been the edge of existence. Then it began doing several odd motions, as if it were (pardon the crude analogy, my friends) dry-humping the end of the universe. It was very uncomfortable.

But it kept going and going. I can only suspect that this wall meant a great deal to the mo-hawk. Perhaps they were lovers? I'm not sure if such relationships are conventional, or even legal. Or possible, while we're speculating on the matter. But it seemed to be going at it, all the same.

After awhile, I noticed something. I had gone from riding on the mo-hawk to being stuck to the wall. I don't know how it happened, but it was frighteningly constricting.

And the damned mo-hawk kept at it! Whatever dirty things it was doing to the wall, it was doing it to me too, and I can tell you I did not appreciate it one bit. I would have done something about it, but I wasn't entirely sure how. But never have I felt so... so... molested.

Then it finally stopped. The mo-hawk flew away, apparently finished with it's ritual. Then the Rain Man look-alike dropped his mo-hawk on a flat planet, and in a matter of seconds, was thousands of miles away.

I tried to break free from my captivity, but still I could not move. What had that mo-hawk done to me? Was the ritual really a means of imprisonment? Adding to what appears to be an ever-expanding list, I honestly don't know.

I began to feel something strange. Some tingly sensation. I looked down, and saw that I was melting. Melting, dammit! What was going on here? Was it not enough to trap me, it has to kill me too? And to think the day had started out so good. You know. Before the world started moving. Those were good times, weren't they?

But... maybe I wasn't melting. Maybe I was breaking free. I could feel myself moving down the wall, little by little. This was it! I was going to escape! I focused all of my efforts on dropping further. I wasn't sure what I would do when I reached the bottom, but I knew I would be closer to going back to the world as I knew it.

Then I stopped.

Why am I stopping? I wondered. I still wonder, in fact. Whatever dark hold this wall had on me, it was growing stronger. I began to feel weak. Fatigued. It was draining the life out of me. Had I done something to offend it? Was this punishment for a sin I do not recall committing? Or maybe this was all a dream. Had to be, surely. That was the only rational explanation. There were no giant mo-hawks that stole you from your home in the real world. I would close my eyes, and when I opened them back up, I would awake in my bed.

Then I remembered I had neither eyes nor a bed.


Another theory occurred to me. What if the wall wasn't the thing making me feel so constricted? I looked up and saw a giant yellow, a quadrillion miles away, which appeared to be shooting heat at me. Maybe it was the heat?

Nah. That's ridiculous. A giant yellow a quadrillion miles away trapping me to a wall? This isn't science-fiction here. It had to be the wall. That was the only thing that made sense.

But hours went by, and I hadn't moved at all. I felt myself changing. I don't know exactly when it happened, and, frankly, I wish someone had been there watching me, who could have told me when my transformation occurred. But at some point during my time on the wall... I changed.

I always used to feel free. But I no longer did. Sure, I'd been trapped on the wall, but this was different. I felt as if, even if I was no longer on the wall, I could never be free again. I began to feel terribly depressed.

Where was God? He loved me, didn't he? I wondered how he could possibly let something like this happen to me. Could this be part of his plan? To have me sealed to a wall until the end of time?

That night, I prayed to Him. God, I said. Please, if you can hear me, answer my prayers. Free me from this place. I would appreciate it very much.

I don't know if he got it. He's a very busy guy, so I try not to judge.

When I woke up the next morning, I saw the Rain Man from the day before standing before me. Next to him was another, even funnier looking Rain Man, with two tumors on its chest. They were both staring at me. Or the wall. At this point, I wasn't sure if there was much of a difference.

The deformed Rain Man looked at me, and said, “It's beautiful.”

Suddenly, I knew why I was brought here. I finally understood my purpose in life.

I was beautiful.
Talk less, smile more
Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for
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Old 31st July 2011, 05:51 AM
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Grabythejiggies Grabythejiggies is offline
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Location: Twycross England, Canada.
Originally Posted by Jinjonator View Post

The deformed Rain Man looked at me, and said, “It's beautiful.”

Suddenly, I knew why I was brought here. I finally understood my purpose in life.

I was beautiful.
Gotta, gotta count toothpicks. Yeah. I'm a very good driver. Purpose in life, count toothpicks, gotta count toothpicks.
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Old 31st July 2011, 11:51 AM
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Avarice Avarice is offline
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That was kind of nice actually.
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Old 31st July 2011, 12:33 PM
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Derek Derek is offline
DarkJinjo Dyrenzo
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So deep, I'm in awe.

So many questions, so little answers.

I really enjoyed reading that.
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Old 31st July 2011, 12:56 PM
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Bradlestix Bradlestix is offline
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This is really cool. I kind of wanna just read it over and over again until I get it.
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Old 1st August 2011, 02:22 AM
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Sajextryus Sajextryus is offline
Most Creative Member ('13 - '14)
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I have a good feeling the story is told from the point of view of paint.
Amazing, though. I really liked how it was told.
Holy hell, look who's smart!

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Old 14th October 2011, 05:02 PM
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cannibalcactus cannibalcactus is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Deep in the Mushroom biomes
I caught the underlying meaning by the 7nth paragraph This is very creative and quite artistic. Quite frankly I get the most haunting feeling That this is familiar to me for some reason.
"He's just not the heally type of cleric...." ~ Some guy on DDO.
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